I just wish he didn't trust me so much.

One of my favorite quotes has forever been

I know God will not give me anything that I can't handle.
I just wish he didn't trust me so much.
~Mother Teresa

I was looking at my daughter today and this quote came to my mind. Did God know what he was doing when he gave me these children to raise? I think that he did. Sometimes there are situations that leave me wondering what on earth he was thinking. Had he met me at the time? I was a 17 year old kid without a clue what she was doing. I have grown up with my kids and while that has been interesting I'm not sure it provided them with the best mother possible. I can already look back and see so many mistakes that I have made. The guilt of having 4 kids is overwhelming at times, there is not a possible way to provide all of them with the time that they deserve and Audrey has probably drawn the shortest stick from that pile. I try now to make up for what she missed all of those years that I was barefoot and pregnant. I hope that I have taught her well. There are times that we have to make decisions that are hard, when we know that someone that we care about is going to get hurt by what we say or do but make the decision to do the right thing anyway.Life isn't always easy, in fact it seldom is but being able to say "I did the right thing" is priceless. I hope at least that I have taught her that.

60 days till school starts!!

What's the deal?

Don't faint! I actually got some work done this morning. I cleaned out the refrigerator, I mean completely. finished. top to bottom. even the freezer side. It needed it badly and I'm going to the store this evening and it is pretty much empty so it was time. I cleaned out the fridge and have my clothes almost caught up and got a few other things done and I have realized something. I have wrongly been blaming the boys for the fact that I can't get anything done. While they can be aggravating, running in and out and making messes, it appears that my daughter is the actual culprit. She left on a trip this morning(more on that later) and spent the night with my mom last night (the church is 45 minutes away and they were leaving at 6am and I'm not dragging my butt, let along the boys out of bed that early) so she wasn't here this morning at all and I actually got stuff done. I'm not sure what that is all about, I am thinking it over, I know there must be a reason but it is alluding me. She somehow feeds my laziness. I'm thinking that maybe it is guilt, after all even after 3 tries I could not provide her with a sister to hang with. It's not like she wants to go out and climb the mountains with the boys so maybe I feel the need to entertain her. I just don't know, it will come to me eventually. Maybe I can get alot of stuff done the next 3 days!!

66 days till school starts!!