Monday, February 17, 2014

When I grow up ........

     There has been this running joke going on, that only I am privy to, that it is time for "Mommy" to decide what she wants to be when she grows up.  It isn't really a joke though (or at least I hope it doesn't turn out that way).
     My children are getting older, our lives have changed a lot in the last few years and I know that it is time for a new chapter. Having the courage to start that new chapter required a huge push for me though. I've said for years that when my youngest child started middle school I was going to do something. Get a job, go to college, I wasn't sure what but I knew it was going to be something. That day came and went and you still found me sitting in the same spot I had been in for 18 years. Change is scary and who wants to do scary. Not Me!! We were already going through enough changes in our life. Big changes. We knew the day was coming, had known for awhile, that my husband would finally be transferred away from the mines that he called home for so many years. The place that had changed our lives for the better 10 years ago, the place that had changed so many peoples lives in a devastating way just a few years ago. It was finally time to move on. We had made the decision some time before that he wouldn't be going back underground in the coal mines and we had been preparing for the transition, which was going to bring quite a pay cut for over a year. With a family of 6 you can only prepare so much financially though but we were. We had it all figured out, had paid off what we could, cut back on what we could and we were prepared. Then they moved him. While it took a few months for the pay cut to take effect, the surprise that his hours were also cut when he moved hit us immediately. We couldn't handle both. So I had been pushed and pushed hard.
     So now, half way through the school year that was suppose to be my time to do something, I am. I went from a stay at home mom that devoted all of her time to her family to a working mom who is really struggling to figure it all out. I'm working 2 part time jobs, both in fields that I am interested in (such a blessing) and trying to decide What I want to be when I grow up.
     My hope is that I can start college this summer and work only one part time job while I get a degree. Nothing fancy, to start out with, just an Associates degree from a Community College (which happens to be where one of my jobs is). In anticipation of trying to start college I have been trying to refresh some of the things that I learned 20 years ago. Oh my, that is scary!! 20 years and I'm about to start all over again. I'm hoping to also keep up with my writing more through the process. I'd like to have a way to share with my kids someday, when they are actually interested, exactly what this time was like for me. It has already meant big changes for them and I'm sure there are more to come and at some point they may wonder what it was like for me. Probably not but you never know.
Now I just seriously need to decide what I want to do when I grow up.