I wish I could?

I wish I could run. Seriously run. I want to feel that runners high. I want to feel like I have truly accomplished something that I wanted to. I want to be healthy and strong. I just don't know how to get there. I do a lot of walking and I guess that is a good first step. I found a program that I think could really get me there but there are a few glitches.

There is a program called the Couch to 5k and it is designed to help people who have never ran to get to the point that they can run a 5k. It is a wonderful program, it really is. I love it. The problem I have is the same problem that plagues me in everything I try to do. Laziness? No, although that doesn't help. The problem is where I live. If you've read any of my previous posts you probably know that I live in the middle of nowhere and for the most part I love that, I really do. It's times like this that it gets annoying. An hour from the closest city, no parks or gyms. So my only option is to run on the road which is not necessarily a bad option except.... 1) It has quite an incline. I can't run and you want me to start out doing it on an incline, yeah right. 2) I grew up here and there are a lot of these people in these houses that I really don't want to look out there window and see my fat butt running by. 3) There are a lot of distractions on this road. Cars constantly coming by (and this is barely a two lane road, there are no lines. So I have to be sure I'm not in the way) that may have the before mentioned people that I grew up with and around in them. Animals are the biggest distraction. I am not at all keen to being chased by a goat while I try to run. Or roosters. Or even dogs for that matter.

I'm not giving up though. I refuse to. I may be on the first week of this program for months before I actually find the time to get in the three workouts a week and feel comfortable moving on. I may have to adjust my route to figure out how to do most of it in the downward direction of the incline. I definitely have to figure out how to get over the self-consciousness of people looking out their windows and seeing me. I will not give up though and at some point I will be a runner.

Oh Well

 It's 8am and already this morning I've been a short-order cook, a valet, a nurse, a motivational speaker, a disciplinarian, a chauffeur, a barber, and a teacher. I could really use a motivational speech of my own. I feel like I should be done for the day but I still have to be a dishwasher, a maid, a chef, a stock boy(girl actually) and run a laundromat during the day and then a full time chauffeur this evening. What I want to do is set here and write and read other blogs but "Oh well" off I go to get busy again. 

Can I figure this out?

Not a whole lot of effort went into that weight loss. I have to figure out how to find a balance with my weight loss desires. I am either all in or all out and that's not working well for me. There has to be an in between somewhere. I know I can't lose weight as fast as I did with a balance of the two but I can still lose weight. If I can't exercise everyday then I get discouraged and don't do it at all. If I eat bad one day then the next day I have given up. I have to learn to give myself a break when I'm not doing it perfect. Do I really expect to go the rest of my life without drinking another Coke? Can I realistically exercise everyday? There has to be an in between. There has to. I'm determined to find it. I'm going to find it. It may take me the rest of my life but I will not quit. I'd rather it be sooner and not later because I feel like time is running out. I feel like there is a line in the sand and that I have until I reach that line before it will be too late and I will be completely stuck in my ways. I know that's not true, that it's all in my head but I feel a sense of desperation. As I typed those last few sentences I realized something. That feeling of desperation may be my whole problem. If I would truly give myself the rest of my life to figure it out and erase that line in the sand it would make this so much easier. No matter what happens this is going to be a lifetime problem for me. If I woke up skinny tomorrow I wouldn't stay that way for long if I still didn't have that balance. So I will continue my quest. Any and all advice will be appreciated. 

Easiest way from here to there?

Is usually a straight line. Not around here. This makes my life harder and is the reason for many discussions the kids and I have about hovercrafts. A lot of the things we do take place in a city that is an hour drive from us. By way of a bird it would probably take 15 minutes, at most. It's the price we pay to live in the country and for him to have a 10 minute drive to work. If anyone could figure out the whole hovercraft thing though, I would be eternally grateful.

Why can't I post regularly?

That's simple. This is what my day looks like this time of year.

4:50 - Get Hubby up and going. Fix sandwiches for his lunch. 

5:15 - Audrey up and getting ready. 

5:20- Hubby leaves. 

5:30- Jo up to shower. 

5:45- Drew up to shower. 

6:20- Drive to bus stop

6:30- Home. Shower. Load of clothes in washer. Load dishwasher. 

7:30- Matt up to shower. Finish getting ready. 

8:15- Leave for Matt's school. 

8:30 to 1:00- Work Santa's workshop. 

1:15- Home. Switch out Laundry. Cook Dinner. Pick up the house as much as possible. 

3:00- Get 3 oldest kids off bus. Feed them. 

3:20- Leave. An hour drive to Beckley plus a little driving around to make sure we were in the right place. 

4:45- Drop Audrey off for practice. 

5:00- Mom's to visit for a few minutes and drop off pants for her to hem. 

5:40- Leave Mom's and take Jo to CAP. 

6:00- Drop Jo at CAP and go to pick Audrey up from practice. 

6:30- Pick Audrey up.

6:30 to 8:30- Shop for Santa's workshop. Spend a few minutes chilling out with Audrey at McDonalds. 

9:00- Pick Jo up from CAP. Stop at store and pick up a few things. Drive an hour home. 

10:00- Home. Get everyone settled in bed. Put last load of clothes for the day in the dryer. Do a few odds and ends. Watch a little TV to relax and then CRASH. So that I can get up tomorrow and do another day of the same kind of thing. 

     Let me also mention that Drew had to be at his school at 5:30 for a choir concert at 6:00 so Hubby had a wonderful evening too. I hated to miss the concert but guess what I get to do Thursday? Spend the day on the bus and at schools with the choir for concerts!! Yay!! I will be glad when Christmas break gets here. 

The best way out is always through

The best way out is always through. ~ Robert Frost

The easiest thing is to ignore the hard things in our life. To force the hurt and pain down inside. There are times that it doesn't work, can't work. There are things that are too big to hold inside. Sometimes through is not only the best way but the only way.  Some tragedies are so big that there is no actual through, your life is forever changed. When my husbands Mines had an explosion that is what happened to us. It is taking time to figure out how to live our lives on this side of it. 

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. 

It goes on. ~ Robert Frost

As hard as that is to except sometimes it is how our lives work. Although life goes on that doesn't mean it goes on exactly the same. That it can go on exactly the same. It's been hard. Hard to except that it actually happened, Hard to believe that they are all really gone. Hard to listen to the lies and untruths told for a little fame. Hard to be judged by so many others. Hard on both of us for him to go to work everyday. My husband is one of the few that was left working there to keep things running while they did the investigation. This has made moving on very hard for him. He tried not dealing with it, like he does most things in his life and it didn't work. So now a year and a half later we are still trying to work through it but at least he has now excepted that he has no other choice. We will make it out of this and on to a stronger life for ourselves but it has forever changed us. 

Fun with Siri

I finally got my new iPhone over the weekend but Siri didn't like my kids voices so I'm just getting to play with her today. I found she works better with headphones so I'm thinking I may finally go Bluetooth. After figuring out how to use it for text, emails, notes and reminders I decided to have a little fun. She's actually very interesting.

Actually I wrote this whole post using her.










Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone