Monday, January 16, 2012

Can I figure this out?

Weight loss this week.

Not a whole lot of effort went into that weight loss. I have to figure out how to find a balance with my weight loss desires. I am either all in or all out and that's not working well for me. There has to be an in between somewhere. I know I can't lose weight as fast as I did with a balance of the two but I can still lose weight. If I can't exercise everyday then I get discouraged and don't do it at all. If I eat bad one day then the next day I have given up. I have to learn to give myself a break when I'm not doing it perfect. Do I really expect to go the rest of my life without drinking another Coke? Can I realistically exercise everyday? There has to be an in between. There has to. I'm determined to find it. I'm going to find it. It may take me the rest of my life but I will not quit. I'd rather it be sooner and not later because I feel like time is running out. I feel like there is a line in the sand and that I have until I reach that line before it will be too late and I will be completely stuck in my ways. I know that's not true, that it's all in my head but I feel a sense of desperation. As I typed those last few sentences I realized something. That feeling of desperation may be my whole problem. If I would truly give myself the rest of my life to figure it out and erase that line in the sand it would make this so much easier. No matter what happens this is going to be a lifetime problem for me. If I woke up skinny tomorrow I wouldn't stay that way for long if I still didn't have that balance. So I will continue my quest. Any and all advice will be appreciated.