Saturday, May 31, 2008
I have always had trouble with having an all or nothing attitude when it came to my weight. That is why I had never really dieted because I didn't want to start until I knew I would give it my all. When I first started this journey if I would eat one wrong thing that was it for the day, I already messed up so why bother? I thought I had completely rid myself of that attitude. I know that eating one thing that I shouldn't doesn't mean that the whole day is wasted, I just keep doing and do my best from that very point forward. One Choice at a time! I realized this week however that I had just transfered that attitude over to exercising. If I knew I was going to have a hectic day and didn't have time to do at least 3 miles in the morning then I just didn't bother. Why? I thought. Why can't I walk even if I can only manage 30 minutes? No, it may not be the workout that I am use to but when I started exercising I could barely get in 15 minutes. Any exercise has to be better than nothing at all. 30 minutes is what they recommend you, at least, do for heart health so even if I'm not getting in exercise that will cause weight loss I am doing what is healthy for my body and that is suppose to be my whole goal. I had become caught up in pushing myself hard and figured if I wasn't being pushed hard then I wasn't accomplishing anything. All or nothing, why do we do that to ourselves? So this week I have just been doing what I can, when I can. No I have not pushed myself to the point of exhaustion everday but I feel like I have accomplished more. I have made each day and each choice count for something.
I had to weigh on Friday instead of Saturday since we won't be home all weekend.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
interesting. My brother is getting married and in lieu of the big church wedding, with all of its aggravations and dissatisfaction (can you tell I wish I hadn’t fallen into the church wedding trap), they are just going to Gatlinburg and using one of the beautiful churches there. I, myself am very excited and so are all of the brats but Dear One although fine with going to the wedding would much rather stay home than have to go anywhere far. We never take trips and never go on vacation which I am fine with because in all honesty I would rather stay at home most of the time too. I am starting to feel that maybe we are depriving our children though and I think it is about time we started taking them to see more places and things. We can’t really do the beach (many light complexions and a daughter that is allergic to the sun don’t mix so well with beach weather) so I’m thinking Pigeon Forge may be a great alternative. If we like it there and I can talk him into it we may take an actual vacation there next year. For now though I am just hoping to relax and enjoy. More details promised so stay tuned.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Tuesday: How do you keep your kids talking to you as they get older?
Wednesday: How do you juggle everything?
Thursday: Can a parent be any prouder than when their child succeeds?
Friday: How do you motivate someone to use the wisdom God has given them?
Saturday: Who are you to judge me?
Sunday: Do I really listen to God?
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Side Note - I'm always looking for information to help me with Joseph and I have found an article about a book that I am going to have to find and read. I will let you know what I think of it. You can see the article here and here is a link to the information about the book. It may just be more crap but most of the time you have to read a lot of crap to find the few gems out there.
So I didn't lose any this week and I technically gained a little. I'm not too concerned though because I am sunburnt and when I got sunburnt 2 weeks ago I held onto almost 2 lbs. for a few days. So we'll see where I am once that goes away. I'm having trouble getting my exercise in right now so that is putting a huge damper on losing much. There is just so much going on with the kids, where it is the end of the school year and baseball season is in full swing, that it is hard to find time for much. At best I am getting in about 3 good exercise days a week. Next week won't be much better because of our plans but after that I should be able to kick my exercise back into full throttle. Slow and steady I guess. The first 30 lbs. came off so fast that it is hard to then come to a slow pace but I know that is the only way it is going to stay with me so I am okay with it. One day, One choice, One pound at a time.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Picture of a trap like the one in the tree I pass daily, I would take a picture of the actual one but its in a bad curve and I'm not quite that crazy.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Tuesday: How long can it rain?
Wednesday: Do we really eat this much?
Thursday: How do you deal with a crazy person?
Friday: Should Fed-Ex really be expected to deliver?
Saturday: Why did I ask how long it could rain?
Sunday: Do people stop to think about what they are doing?
P.S. - I'm working on a header for this posting but I'm tired now and haven't been able to finish it yet. More work tomorrow, I promise!!
Tuesday update - Still don't like the header - working on it!!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
You burn more calories frowning than smiling. Now isn't that a nice twist on what your mom always told you.
Any kid that has two parents who aren't daily trying to destroy each other and that don't treat them like they are idiots should bow daily at their parents feet.
Watched P.S. I love you - it rocked. Very sad - good for a cry. Only one thought- Are there men that really do these things?
People are lazy, if they can get by without doing their jobs, they will. Don't empower them with that choice.
And on a final note (and I love this):
Banging your head against the wall burns 150 calories an hour.
Is it really the banging or the anger it takes to be stupid enough to do it?
Saturday, May 17, 2008
One more pound down. I was hoping for a little more but I’ll take it. I’m gradually getting back to where I need to be in my mind. It’s hard sometimes, I like to lie to myself about how things really are and it’s usually the easier way. I can’t keep doing that though. I have to be honest with myself if I want to get anywhere. Of course that applies to so many things, weight loss and fitness probably being the least of them. I have got to step out of this rut that my life has been in and I can feel that happening. No, losing weight is not going to solve every problem that I have but it is a start. I see people that are so confident about their selves and wonder how in the world they got that way. I don’t want to be self-important but I would like to feel comfortable in my own skin. I honestly don’t think it is about a number on the scale though, it is more likely about what I see when I look in the mirror. Quite honestly, I have never been able to like that. I don’t necessarily think that I’m ugly but I don’t see myself as pretty either. I want to change that, I think that is part of being fit. I want to be able to say “Melanie, you look good today” when I look in that mirror. I have realized that it’s not all about a pretty face or a smoking hot bod (although I’m sure those things would make it easier), it is more about the attitude and how you feel about yourself. Like I’ve said before, when I was young and skinny, I still didn’t have that but I have never before in my life been healthy and I know now that THAT is the difference. I feel better about my self daily (at least on most days) and the times when I get down and don’t feel like exercising or eating right I can feel the downward spiral coming on. If I don’t pick myself up and make myself start over, I know where it will end and it won’t be in a good place. Each day is a new start and a new chance, each choice is a new start and a new chance. One day, one choice, one pound at a time.
Friday, May 16, 2008
When he arrived to deliver the package he was courteous and his only comment was “It wasn’t as far up here as I thought”. Well thank you. I don’t care if it had been 50 miles instead of 5; it’s still your job. I started to say “Yeah, Well I have to pay for my own gas!”
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Wait maybe that could use a little explaining. For anyone who isn’t familiar with the system kids start out playing T-ball (which actually has a story of its own this year), then they move up to what they call Minor League (also where they go if they fail to make the Little League team) and then on to Little League.
Now where was I …? Oh yes. This is our first year of Little League and it is quite astonishing to me what parents are capable of. I love to watch my kids play ball, it is fun for them but what happens when the parents (and grandparents for that matter) push it past having fun. I know they are supposed to take it seriously and do their best but they should be able to do that and have a good time at the same time. The way some parents act you would think they were in the final game of the World Series. How do they push their kids so hard? How do they justify cursing in front of a bunch of kids because they think there was a bad call? I honestly just don’t get it. If you want to encourage your kids, that’s great. If you want them to be the best pitcher (only an example) in existence, that’s great. Can you not be a good role model while doing this? If your only concern is that your kids end up rich then great but if you want them to grow up to be, at the very least, a decent person then maybe you should rethink how you act in their presence and how you interact with them.
The T-ball thing. This year they started ….. Are you ready? Not using a Tee. Okay there is a reason for the T in T-ball. This could actually go back to the above portion. Why do we have to push our kids to grow up so fast? Yes, it makes them more prepared when they move to Minor League but at what cost? Now I’m sure I already covered this above.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
This post was submitted to a contest at Scribbit.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
"Mean"iac (n.) - what daddy is when he drives silly
Me to Dear One after he asks if we were making fun of him;
“You really need to grow up, we weren’t talking about you, we were arguing over Starburst”. (Yes I realized how mature this sounded after I said it).
Sitting in the sun outside of a Wal-Mart for hours will result in sunburn; even if it is partially cloudy and windy.
I love gadgets, I am addicted to gadgets; I need help.
Sixlets are not diet food. (Oops, I still have work to do.)
Saturday, May 10, 2008
When I got pregnant with Audrey I already thought I was overweight and I weighed a whopping 135 lbs. I lost down to about 123 lbs. because I was so sick with the pregnancy and then gained around 35 lbs. I lost about 10 lbs. in between my pregnancy with her and getting pregnant with Jo. With that pregnancy I gained about 25 lbs. and lost none afterwards. With the third pregnancy I gained 18 lbs. and lost none. I gained a little more in between having Drew and getting pregnant with Matt. While pregnant with Matt I only gained 1 lb. but I was already so overweight that I didn’t need to gain any. I lost quite a bit after having Matt because I was so sick (I’ll have to post that story at some point) but then had to have tests for the next 6 months that required having dye shot into me every 6 weeks. This caused me to gain 30 lbs. within a matter of weeks. So at this point I weighed right at 190 lbs. I knew I had gained a little and then when I got the pneumonia back in November the steroids made me gain even more. When they weighed me at the doctors office when I went for my check-up to see if I was getting better I weighed in at a truly whopping amount – 218 lbs. I literally about fell off of the scale when I saw that number. So there it is out in the open – from the time I was 17 until now I had gained a total of (I know you’ve been keeping track in your head) 95 lbs. Yes you read that number right. Now in all honesty I have no intention of ever being down to 123 again, that is not in my plan. My goal at this point is to be down to a size 12 and I figure that would mean weighing about 160 and that I needed to lose a total of 58 lbs. from where I started. So from now on you are going to get specific numbers from me. To heck with it, I figure, what can it hurt at this point? Plus seeing this in print and knowing exactly how huge I was is a major incentive to keep at this. The beginning of all future check-ins will look like this.
SW-(starting weight) 218
LW-(last weight) 186.2
CW-(current weight) 186.1
GW-(goal weight) 160
As you can see, I have now lost a total of 31.9 lbs. and to reach my initial goal I still need to lose 26.1 lbs. That initial goal may change; honestly I am just going to see how I feel as I get close. I am not at all concerned with being a skinny little thing, I only want to be healthy. Yes weight loss has to be part of that but it is not my main goal. There will be more to come, I promise.
Friday, May 9, 2008
On that note, I have been considering going back to school for a while and I think I finally know what I’m going to do. I’m going to set my sights on a bachelor degree for now but I definitely want the focus to be on writing and learning more about computers. I haven’t found the perfect program yet but I know things will work out in the way that they are meant to. I’m doing a lot of research on it now and looking at all of my options. I know that in order to get any kind of degree I will have to take classes other than those pertaining to writing and computers but that is okay. That is definitely where my main focus will be though. I’m not sure that I will ever want to work and hopefully I will never need to work but I do want to be prepared and to feel like I am putting some effort into this life that I’m living. I don’t want to become just an empty shell once my kids are grown and gone. I want to be a living, breathing, learning person that people actually feel is worthy of taking up the space around them.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
43 –You have heard that it hath been said; Thou shalt love thy neighbor and hate thine enemy.
44 – But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.
The bible teaches us to love our enemies, bless those that curse us, do good to those that hate us and to pray for the people who use us and persecute us. I’m not sure it is entirely possible for us as humans to really practice this. It is so hard to forget the things that people do, we are human and we hang on to the things that hurt us. It is really difficult at times to just turn away from that hurt. I sometimes wonder exactly what Jesus meant when he was saying this. Is it meant more in the way of a popular saying today – Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Reread the first verse, does it not sound almost exactly like that is where he was going with this statement. So maybe he didn’t mean for us to forget and move on. He meant for us to pray that they would see the error of their ways, meant for us to learn from what they had done to us but to move on and not let it ruin our lives. It doesn’t say we have to continue to let them hurt us or cause havoc in our lives. He only says that we need to love them and pray for them. I personally don’t believe that he expects us to set back and let them despitefully use us over and over.
Romans 16: 17 Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.
See he doesn’t expect us to allow people to behave how ever they want and just continue to ignore it and look the other way. We should stand up against the things that people do and say “No I don’t have to be a part of this”. You should mark them and show that you don’t approve of the things that they do. You can still love them, pray for them and bless them without being involved with them. I’m sorry, call me wrong or hypocritical all you want, I know what I believe in my heart is the right thing to do. I don’t care how much twisting they do to try to make me look bad or to get back into our lives; I’m having no part of it. Threats don’t set well with me or work well on me. I’m standing my ground, I know that it’s firm, so I have no trouble standing tall.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
Since I have started this fitness journey many things have become better for me. One of which definitely included my cycle. I was getting really regular, granted it wasn’t a 28 day cycle like many woman have but any kind of regularity for me is a miracle. Every 5 weeks, like clockwork, I was getting my period. Then it stopped. This is nothing out of the ordinary for me and I figured that it was no big deal. I had gone three months and not had one and at a point or two I considered the fact that I might be pregnant. I played a cool April fool’s joke on all of my friends with my Myspace blog and accidentally caught my Dear One up in it too (I honestly had no idea he read them). Shortly after that though I started worrying but then decided there was no way. I finally started on Wednesday or at least I thought I did. It has been horrible and I am almost certain I have had a miscarriage. I have had a tubal done, so the odds of it being viable were very slim and given the pain I’ve been in I would guess it was in my tubes. This would be the second tubal pregnancy since I had my tubal done so I’m going to have to break down and go to the doctor. Now I have explained yesterdays mad dog reference (have pity on my Dear One), as well as the general lack of exercise at the end of the week (it came from the fear of bleeding to death) so I think I’m done. I’m thinking maybe the April fool’s joke wasn’t such a cool idea after all.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Abandon-complete lack of inhibition or self-restraint
Matt – “No mom you won’t be old until your 40.”
Me- “So I have about 10 good years left?”
Matt – “Maybe, We’ll see.”
Baseball Season began
Opening day(Saturday)was beautiful, sunny with a nice breeze. Tuesday it was so cold the games were cancelled. It’s the start of a wonderful season. More details to come, I’m sure.
They had the first monthly Dickens’ dinner on Saturday but we didn’t make it. We were otherwise disposed but I hear it went pretty well. Except for the expected things from the expected people.
On a final note, my Dear One just told me that he didn’t tell me that he was out of medicine because he was afraid I would attack him like a mad dog. As you can guess I’ve had a rough week. More details on that later too.