This has been the shortest/longest summer ever

So today is the kids first day back to school and while on one hand it wasn't much of a summer because all it did was rain. On the other hand it was the longest summer ever because all it did was rain. We didn't get to do a whole lot of anything for so many reasons (many of which I will cover in the next few days I'm sure). I was at a point that the first day of school couldn't have come soon enough. I couldn't even think anymore. Having 3 growing boys is absolutely exhausting. I'm so ready to get back to some type of normalcy and one thing I know for sure. Next summer is going to have to be a little more planned out and structured and include at least one GREAT vacation.

Protection for our Children

We had an incident yesterday at Little League practice and it has left me with a question that I would love to have answered. Why are our Children not protected?

Our kids are practicing ball, Little League and T-ball had already started and some Minor Leaguers were showing up when a man pulls up right behind us and pulls out a video camera and sets it up. Our first reaction is not good, we've been through this before so immediately all of our defenses are up. He starts by filming the school and the Coal Mines behind it but then he turns his camera onto our kids. One of the Moms asks him "Why are you filming our kids?" We get the standard reply, that he is on public property and can film whatever he wants and that our kids will be blurred out and not recognizable. Then we see the Police drive down the road, then back up again and then he parks in front of the school. One of the Moms goes to talk to the cop but as soon as she leaves we realize, the police are never around here unless something is going on, it is obvious immediately that he is here to protect the guy that is filming. That is exactly what he told the parents that talked to him too. If we don't want our kids to be filmed then we should remove them from the ball field. A few of the Dads go and stand in front of his camera until he moves on and eventually he says that he is not there to support the protesters and that he is actually doing an investigation about them but it doesn't matter either way to me. Why are our children allowed to be hassled, why are their school buses allowed to be blocked, why are they allowed to be filmed while playing on the school playground or the ball field, and why can't our kids just be allowed to be kids? They don't care about Mountain Top Removal, they don't care about what these people are protesting about, they just want to go to school and practice ball. IN PEACE!! Yet the cop was there to protect the guy that was there to film and hassle them. The schools have to have written permission to take our kids pictures or to post them in the school or on the schools website. So how can this guy, all of these guys, just walk up and film them while they are on school property? Just because he is standing on public property? I just can't understand the way this world works. All of these people show up from other states to tell us that how we live is wrong and that we are abusive to our kids because we allow them to live in this environment, they harass the miners as they go to work, they make up things to make us look like we are horrible people, the call us Coal Whores because we can actually afford to stay home and raise our children and the GOVERNMENT pays them to do it. The POLICE protect them. It makes no sense at all to me.

No right to Self-Defense may be a huge part of the problem.

I’m a little bothered today and am looking for a few different views on this so if you feel so inclined please leave me a comment and chime in.

We got a call this morning from the Middle School and Joe was in a “fight”. He has had trouble with this kid for years, I’m not sure what the problem is, I really like the kids parents and I know they are good parents but for some reason he and Joe cannot get along. So they got into a little argument over touch football in gym and the boy came after Joe and was choking him (trust me Mr. Perfectly Stubborn grilled the teacher to make sure Joe didn’t start it). In his defense and to get the boy off of him Joe punched him twice in the face. They both got 5 days of suspension from school. Here is where my dilemma comes in.

I know that the school has a No Bullying policy and they also have a No Violence policy but it seems to me that at some point these two collide. What was my son suppose to do? Am I supposed to teach my child to let people hurt him and just stand there and take it? I can guarantee you that won’t happen. When a kid is attacked, do they not have the right to protect and defend themselves? Does this not, in and of itself, lead to more bullying? I can’t seem to find the logic in these guidelines that they have set up. No, we do not condone violence. Our children know that if they start a fight they will be severely punished but we also will not teach them to allow themselves to be trampled on by others. It seems, in my motherly mind anyway, that the school should have discretion in these matters. They should be able to decide on a case by case basis whether the kid was justified in defending themselves or not. I could understand if he had laid into the kid and not stopped but he merely did what he had to do at the time. I know that the school has no choice; they have to follow the guidelines set out for them. I’m just thinking that maybe these guidelines should be altered and the schools given a little more control in these matters. It seems there should be some middle ground because having it set up this way may be what is encouraging bullying in today’s schools because a good kid who doesn’t start trouble and fears getting kicked out of school is going to be less likely to
stand up for himself.

I am not saying that my son was being bullied, or that he did not deserve to be punished, it just bothered me that they have cut off a kids own means of self-defense and forced them to either "rat" on their classmates or take abuse. For the kids in the school that are being bullied it seems there is no good way out. It is either get in trouble, put yourself in a position to be picked on by more people or set back and let someone dump on you. None of those options are good. Our kids should be allowed to stand up for themselves at this point, in small ways, before it gets to the point that they are walking through those school doors with guns and hatred.

The Countdown is Over....

Tomorrow is the first day of school. After all of the counting down I know that you think that I don't love my kids but that is just not the truth. I love them to death but being with anyone 24/7 is a daunting thing to ask. So Yes tomorrow will be a great day for me. I have never been a mother that needed my kids to be dependent on me in order to feel validated. I would prefer that they are independent, that is where I find my joy. Knowing that they will be able to think and act for themselves when they need to is very gratifying. That is my measurement for how well I have done my job and I do believe I have done it well so far. Not perfectly by far. I can see so many mistakes that I make on a daily basis but I am constantly learning from those mistakes and hopefully in the process teaching them that this is how life works. You learn and grow, adapt and change, to continuously better yourself and the lives of those around you.

What inconsiderate lovely people!

Today was award day and graduation at the boys school. It

is hard to manage doing much of anything at this school, for reasons I won't go into. Jo is was in 5th grade and normally they get T-shirts made and wear those to graduate in but they didn't even get those this year. They did at the last moment decide to let them make tie-dyed T-shirts and then had them all sign each others. We were very afraid at first that they wouldn't even get to "march" but they did. I also had a Kindergartner graduating, so it was a busy exciting day for us. It all went pretty well, with both receptions before the assembly we just did the back and forth thing and the kids all had a really good day. I on the other hand ended up very upset and aggravated. It was one of those things where you just have to stop and think "How inconsiderate can people be?" Granted it was very hot in the gym (it is the one part of the school that isn't air conditioned) and we had all been there for awhile but geeze people!! They had gone through all of the awards and then did the graduations. Kindergarten first and then they started the 5th graders. Half of the parents in the place were up, moving around and getting their kids or talking. They were standing in the middle of the aisles where the kids needed to walk, blocking every one's view and keeping all of us that had graduates from seeing, filming or enjoying anything. Again I say "How inconsiderate can people be?" It was truly heartbreaking and unfortunate. If any of those people were my child, I would have taken them directly to the bathroom and busted their

hind ends!

Here are a few pictures for your enjoyment.

It was all and all a good day. It just left a bad aftertaste.

From Honor to Failure

Thursday Audrey got inducted into the National Junior Honor Society and that night got an award for being first in her math class. We are very proud of her, she is an excellent student and a wonderful person (at least when she’s away from the confines of our home). Friday I had to go and talk to the principal of the boys’ school and make sure they weren’t going to fail Joseph. What a comparison that is! What really gets me is that I know that he has the potential to do as good, if not better, than she does in school. It is just so frustrating to sit back and watch him not even try. I cannot understand this attitude that he has, I cannot figure out where it comes from and it just makes no sense to me. I am hoping that if we send him on to Junior High that a lot of the problems will stay behind at the Elementary School. I am not saying that the school is completely to blame but a lot of the problems do stem from there. My son is being lazy but if you allow a 10 year old the freedom to be lazy what do you think they are going to do? He does not need to have that choice; he should be made to do the work and punished for not doing it. We haven’t been able to do what we would normally either because we can’t get them to tell us what he should be doing, what he is doing and what he isn’t doing. It has just been a mess of a year with him and I am so ready to move on to a new start. I am so tempted at this point to talk bad about his teacher but I am going to keep that to myself. It might make me feel better for a few minutes but it wouldn’t help the situation any, so I will bite my tongue. Here’s to hoping a clean slate and a little guidance is exactly what he needs.

Side Note - I'm always looking for information to help me with Joseph and I have found an article about a book that I am going to have to find and read. I will let you know what I think of it. You can see the article here and here is a link to the information about the book. It may just be more crap but most of the time you have to read a lot of crap to find the few gems out there.

Grade Cards

The kids got their grade cards this week and I must say I was a little upset. They made this huge deal out of how Joseph was going to fail if he didn't straighten up and this grade card was the one for the end of the semester. The only subject he had an F average in was Spelling and believe me we have been through this, he can NOT spell. So how is it that they get that he is failing. I'm not saying that he is doing well but he isn't failing. I know it is still bad but I was so worried about him failing because I just want him out of that school. On another note, he is doing better, at least for now. He is getting most of his work done and has went quite a few days without getting his name on the board. I think the idea of failing really shook him up so I guess that was a good thing. I went to pick him up Monday and I got the standard "you should really put him on meds" speech from one of the teachers. I so hate it when they start that. It is not worth the trade-off for him anymore. Yes when he was younger it helped tremendously but it no longer helps enough to warrant the fact that he doesn't grow while he is on it. Have you seen my son lately? If you have you would understand. He has grown tons in the last year and the oh so skinny little thing is actually getting a gut!!! You gotta love that. He is old enough to start learning how to deal with the problems on his own. I have faith that he can overcome it. Plus spring isn't that far away and then he can burn off most of that extra energy.

The few things on my mind(as small as it might be)

It's been one of those days, I just feel kind of out of sync and tired. Weird, that's the only way to describe it. I'm not sure what is bothering me and I hate it when I get like this. So I'm going to take it out on you. I'm truly not sure what has made me feel this way but I don't like it and I want it to go away. There are a few things that have been weighing on my mind and maybe it is the combination of them all.
First of all why is it that most people assume that if you are a stay at home mom that what you do all day is watch soaps and surf the net? Granted, now that all of my kids are in school I do have more time on my hands but I still stay busy, some days very busy. I am constantly trying to better myself and do the things that need to be done. There are always things that need to be taken care of and done. I have 4 kids for goodness sake, keeping them all well and healthy is a task in and of itself. Not many days go by that I don't have more than a few things that have to be done. So just because my kids are all in school that means that I should be getting a job or doing something huge. Since Matt's in Kindergarten he no longer needs me? For that matter does Audrey not need me anymore because she is about to be a teen? It seems to me that they need me more than ever, not less. I have the privilege of being able to stay home and raise my kids, why does that make me less of a person or not as intelligent as someone who works? Eventually I want to go back to school but I'm still not sure that I would ever take a job but for now I want to enjoy the gifts that God has given me. That includes my kids and the ability to be here for them.
That brings me to the next thing that is weighing on my mind. I read a blog this morning and it really brought me to my knees. I do not intend to offend with this so if I do please let me know. Kay Kidd wrote about how much she missed her son and my heart broke for her and for myself. We all take the things that we are given for granted. I love my kids but it is so easy to get caught up with the things that need to be done and to forget about the things that should be done. I want to make sure and remember to let my kids know that I love them, completely. I want to relax a little and have fun with them. I want to enjoy every minute that God gives me with them. Thanks Kay for reminding me of that. You are a wonderful woman.
So maybe now I will feel a little better and get out of this funk. I just want to focus on what is important and be happy. There are people out there who will never quit judging and being demeaning but I hope to be able to relax and forget about them and only remember those who can have a positive influence on me.

Student Assistance Team---Really?

We got a letter in the mail last week saying that there was going to be a meeting about Joseph at the school. A meeting of the SAT (student assistance team) because his test scores (WEST test) and school grades showed a discrepancy. So here I am thinking great, finally somebody is going to straighten this situation out. Don't get me wrong, I am not one of those parents that think her kids can do no wrong. I know that Jo is lazy and that he just flat out isn't doing his work. If no one at the school, however, will hold him responsible for the work or cooperate with me to let me know what he isn't doing then seriously what can be expected. I can't hold him responsible if I can't keep up with what he's doing and if you leave a kid that age the choice of doing or not doing work – what do you think they will choose? So I'm excited and ready for a change.
Then we show up at the school and with in just a few minutes I know that this is going to be a disappointment. There are NO strangers around anywhere, first bad sign. Then other parents start showing up and saying are you here for a meeting too? Second bad sign. The first parent gets to start her meeting and I am now extremely upset. It's just the teacher (that won't hold them responsible) and the principal (who I've already had this discussion with more than once). That is their SAT, Please!!!!! I am now completely disappointed.
They show us all the work he hasn't done and tell us how close he is to failing etc. etc. They bring him in and tell him and make sure that he knows that we now know that he isn't doing the work. I'm thinking yeah that's all great but how do we turn this thing around. Then for the first time since she's been there I am pleased with the principal and see where she was going with this whole meeting from the start. She wanted us all to be in the same room at the same time, that way when someone says they will do something it is more likely to actually happen. So I actually walked away pleased!!!!! I couldn't believe it. From now on if Jo doesn't finish a paper instead of hounding him about it the teacher will take it to the office and they will mail it home. By next week they should have Edline up and running. The middle school already has this and it is great. The teachers have to put all the grades into the computer, the parents get a code and they can go online and see all of the grades and assignments anytime that they want. Plus I am now more than welcome to show up anytime I want to and check on how he is doing, the teacher will call home anytime Jo gets really off focus and we even have permission to call him at home anytime we have a question or concern. Now hopefully we can get him through this year, out of this school and on with his life!!! Hooray!!!!