How do you keep your kids close?

As my kids get older I can feel them pulling away. I have done all of the things that I know to do, I have tried hard to talk to them and not be judgmental and I have spent time with them and kept them close. They still talk to me but I know that they are starting to hide things. They try to tell me only what they want me to know, forgetting that I can find out anything that I want to know about them (and for the most part I can). I want them to come to me when they have a problem, when they are excited about something that happened or when they have been hurt. I don’t know how to make that happen though, I thought I was doing everything right but I guess not. I know people that have that kind of relationship with their kids but I don’t know how they got it. They will say “I don’t know I just always talked to them.” but there is more than that. Somewhere, there is more. If anyone has a real answer for me…..let’s hear it.