This is not an easy post for me to write. It is something that I have struggled with a lot lately as both a mother who really cares about the adults my children will someday be and a Christian. Trying to raise a daughter in this world that we live in is not an easy task at all and I find myself feeling that I have done her a huge disfavor. We have to teach our daughters from a young age to be careful about who they trust, to protect themselves from the dangers this world can hold for them but I'm starting to feel like that has done damage. She is too guarded and too critical. Some days I feel like that isn't my fault, that it is just her personality because she is a lot like her daddy in that regard. There are days though that it breaks my heart and I feel like I have failed her. How do we walk that line and stay on the right side of it? How do you know when it's enough and when it's too much? How do you teach them that they shouldn't let anyone make them do something they are uncomfortable with but not teach them to be completely uncompromising? How do I teach her to be an independent woman but also teach her that a Christian wife should submit to the Godly decisions that her husband makes? I hope that the example I set makes a difference but I have no doubt about how much I have failed in that area. I strive daily to do better but people, even (or maybe especially) our children, tend to remember the bad that we have done and not the good. My daughter is a wonderful person, so very responsible and mature and I want so much for her but more than any of the things I would hope for my children, I hope for their happiness. I'm afraid she will let that pass her by out of shear stubbornness.
All you can really do is set a good example for her in how you live your life and hope the follows suit. She does have free will so you can't force them into anything without consequences. My daughters (3 of them) have not always done what I wanted them to but sometimes you have to let them fail to let them succeed. I can proudly say that all 3 of my daughters (whether they did what I wanted or not) have turned out to be wonderful, kind, intelligent and independant women that I'm proud to have as my daughters as well as my friends. That's all we can hope for.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from Mama Kat's.
You're obviously doing the best you can, and I'm sure she'll grow up to be a strong, smart woman.
ReplyDeleteThere is only so much we can do as a parent.. just set her with the tools she needs in life and it's really with lots of faith and love that they blossom.
ReplyDeleteIt's tough. I have two sons and the not being able to control and prevent their mistakes and poor choices is the hardest thing in the world. I just pray A LOT and remind myself that I survived my youth and all my many mistakes and have still turned out pretty good for the most part.
ReplyDeleteIt is so tough.... parenting is HARD and the truth is you don't really know how you are doing until you are done and then it's kind of too late. - Keep trusting God - that is what I do!!!
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I've been questioning myself on this a lot lately with two girls of my own. All you can do is your best, what you think is best for her, lead by example and pray she follows. What's great about kids as they mature, though, is they have a knack for pretending not to listen/pay attention/be affected...but they are. They are observing and taking in everything. So she sees it; she just isn't past the stubborn stage of letting you know it's working.
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