It will all be right in The End

In our Sunday School Class we have been doing lessons based on a book - Right People, Right Place, Right Plan Devotional- for the last few weeks. This has brought about some great changes for me, in the way that I think about things. The book was split into 3 sections as the title suggests and each was very big for me. The second part is titled Right Place and this was the biggest revelation for me. This is where my thinking was changed. Not about the future or where I need to be though, it was about the past. I have considered writing about this before and am now glad that I didn't. I'm not sure that I should now but I feel that I need to share it. If anyone that I know reads this and is upset, let me say now that I am sorry.

A few years ago, I think it's been 4, my Mom and Dad moved. It was devastating for me. When my husband and I got married we lived in a few crappy rental houses before we moved to where we are now. Where we are now is on half of my parents land, which they deeded to us the second Christmas after we were married. It was the backside of their property (I'm not talking about a tiny lot either) and needed to be cleared off and have some work done. We did the work and put a home here. I thought I was moving next to my parents, where I would live for the rest of my life and take care of them when they got old. So when they came and told us they were leaving I took it hard. I couldn't understand why or how. Why would you leave your grandchildren and your daughter and just up and move. It made absolutely no sense to me and I was hurt. How could they not care any more than that? I barely went to see their house over the next year and really didn't talk to them a whole lot, I was just flat out hurt. Then a little over a year later we went to the church they were now attending for a Friends Day. Things at the church we were going to had gotten a little dramatic and we were considering leaving. The next service that we went to at our church was horrible and we ended up just getting up and leaving to never look back. We had felt so welcome at my parents church and that was the first church we decided to try and we have never left. We love it there, it is where we are suppose to be, I have no doubt. I still had hard feeling though about my parents moving, I still harbored resentment towards them in a way. I had not allowed myself to see that it was all part of God's plan and that my parents had to be in the right place in order for it all to happen. There was a place in the devotional where it said that the things God wants you to do today you may not understand but they may be setting up the future for your children and grandchildren. It hit me then. Wow, I don't know God's plans and don't even pretend to understand them but I am glad that my parents listened when it was time for them to go and that they found this wonderful church for all of us.

Audrey's missions trip: Day 3

Saturday 11:40 pm
I didn't hear from her until just now but that was expected. They did the hike today and she said it was beautiful. She really didn't have long to talk because they had to try to get some sleep but she sounded great. She is very excited and encouraged. She has made friends with the people that work their and their kids. It seems like they have really been able to reach out to a lot of people. The will do one more service in the morning and then help with breakfast and then they will be on their way home. I love that she has the opportunity for these experiences but I miss her like crazy and can't wait till she gets home.

Audrey's missions trip: Day 2

Friday 11:00 am
Audrey just called and the morning went good. She didn’t have long to talk so I didn’t get a lot of details. Hopefully she will have longer tonight. She said it was going good and they were getting ready to go help with lunch. I miss her a lot, being gone to school during the day is one thing but being gone for days on end, that’s tough. Two of the staffers (not the boys staying there) are flirting a little but I have Skyler’s (one of Audrey’s friends) guarantee that she is keeping them in line.

Friday 10:30 pm
They are having a wonderful time. She is so tired and so sore but very uplifted. Their services today went really well and they have had 9 or 10 commitments (which she explained means that some of them have been in church but just committed to doing better while others have actually been saved). Andrew’s (one of the teen boys) preaching has been wonderful and she said the one service he gave them all chills in places they didn’t even know you could get chills. When they did their mimes (to find out what this is click here) some of the kids even ask them to do one of them again. They are expecting tomorrow to be even better. They are hiking and then having their service up on the mountain. I am so excited for her, for all of them. They seem to really be being blessed.

Not everyone that says Lord, Lord

Not everyone that saith unto me Lord, Lord
shall enter into thy kingdom of heaven
but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in Heaven.
If you are a Christian and you want to know why the world thinks so little of you just watch this season of Big Brother and it will be clear. I have to say that these people do not represent the Christianity that I believe in or live daily. If this is what people see everyday it is no wonder that they think we are a joke.
Yes, we are not perfect, we all make mistakes, and after all we are all human. You can't live however you want, say what ever you want or do what ever you want though. If you go in to something with the thought in your head that its ok God will forgive me, you are walking a very fine line. That is a willful sin and God doesn't take that lightly and he may not continue to tolerate it.
Christians are no better than anyone else, the only thing that sets you apart is God's forgiveness. We are all as filthy rags unless we have accepted that forgiveness and are doing our best to live up to that honor. You can't guilt someone because they don't agree with your beliefs and you can't cram your religion down their throats. You have to let them see that Belief in your life. You definitely won't accomplish much by cussing them when they catch you up in your faults.
Most importantly you can't use God as an excuse for your bad choices. Just because you thought you were doing what God wanted does not mean that you were right. If you commit to doing something or helping someone and it turns out it was the wrong decision or they weren't what you thought then you stand up and admit you were wrong and do what is right. You don't say I have to do it because I promised I would, you do what is right and then God will help you with the fall-out.
Like I said no one is perfect, we all mess up at times but that's when you ask for forgiveness- from both God and anyone you hurt. Then you move on!!! I just hope that anyone that reads this can take this point away with them - Not everyone that saith unto me Lord, Lord shall enter into thy kingdom of heaven but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in Heaven. Mt.7:21

If She's going to Heaven so am I

Thank You so much Kelly!! This is the first time since Sunday that I have had time to actually set down and take the time to think, let along write; but Sunday was another wonderful sermon for me. He preached on how God commanded us to love one another as He had loved us. WOW!! Have you ever really thought about that? That would require a lot of love. But as Kelly pointed out although most of us are not at the point that we would literally lay down our lives for just anyone we should be able to love them more than ourselves and to put aside all SELF for them. Put aside our needs, wants and desires in order for the other people around us to feel loved. The thing is if you truly do that-most likely you will get the same type of love in return. Yeah things aren't always perfect and it doesn't always work out that way but that shouldn't change how we behave. He also talked about the church family being this way; that they should love each other enough to put aside all the petty things and really be there for each other. The first part was of course for my correction – I often don't love people like I should. This part though was to console me. When we switched churches it was very hard on me. At times I was still feeling like we had somehow put ourselves first and not done what was right but this made me realize that we had. As long as we were there the petty things that people held against us weren't going to be forgotten. There was no hope for any type of growth or even help if we needed it. Read my blog from October, 1 2006. I knew it then I guess I just needed someone to remind me and uplift me and again God gave me exactly what I needed.
I am not and will never claim to be a perfect person (I am quite far from it actually) but I do try. Try to improve, try to forgive and always try to be what I need to be to set an example for my kids. No I'm not a cookie cutter Christian and I'm sure there are many people that look at me and say "If she's going to Heaven so am I" but I promise I'm trying to make that harder for you to do.
P.S. Kelly if you're checking out "myspace" Thank You again and I hope you approve!! And I do keep a close eye on my kids "spaces" and what they are doing too.

Self

I love it when I hear preaching that is honest and straight from the heart. Tonight that is what I got and it really hit home. I have really been in a slump lately but that has been because I have been all about SELF. Not to go back to my pity party but I must explain the slump. I am truly alone, I have no one to lean on or depend on. No help or support, no relief ever from my kids or my life with them. BUT I have God and that is all that matters. I have to quit worrying about my wants and desires and focus on what God wants for my life.
There is absolutely nothing that I can do to ensure that anyone in this world will like me or be pleased with me but God on the other hand has made that simple. He loves me NO MATTER what and all I must do to keep him pleased with me is try my best to stay in His will for my life. Serve people and they will tolerate you and maybe even be pleased for the time being but it will not make them truly love you. There is nothing I can do besides be myself and treat people in the way that God would have me to. If that leaves me alone in this world then God has a reason for that.
I have never been a very likeable person, not someone that most people can get close to and I know that it is something about me although I'm not sure what. Maybe if I give in to God he can change that too. So time to get rid of self and figure out what God wants from my life. Time for a BRAND NEW ME!!!!

True Love

To be able to see true love is a rare thing. It is usually something that is only felt and that is very hard to let somebody see. When that love can be felt by so many people and can actually be tangibly seen, it is truly amazing. That happened today at Cornerstone FWB Church. An amazing man died a few days ago and the love that this church had for him and has for each other was not only felt but also seen by everyone that entered that church today. I knew already that this church was an amazing place to be, even though we haven't been there for long, but the power and the love that they showed today was truly amazing. Only God can create this kind of love but the people also have to be in his will and willing before he can bestow it.
I would not be comfortable trying to explain how great a person he was because I would not want to diminish what he meant to all of those that he was so close to. I cannot know how much he meant to them but I can imagine and I feel that they are the ones that have the right to talk about what a great man he was. I can however say that from the minute you met Jesse you knew that God was the most important thing in his life. I know that the class that he was part of and which held by-far the closest place in his heart is in my prayers, as they are in the prayers of everyone at the church. This church is an amazing FAMILY to be a part of.

My heart is broken

We had to walk away from our church. The church where I was raised. The church where we were married. The church that at one point meant everything to us. I don't understand why things happen like they do but I'm sure God has a new plan for us. How people can be so cruel and why others can be so oblivious to their cruelty is beyond my understanding. I hope this will bring some closure to this troubled part of our lives, finally. Hopefully she will now drop it all and just let us live in peace. That is what we want. Seperation from all of the trouble and drama, that is how this whole thing got started with us asking to just be left alone. So now we leave everything that we have known in order to get that peace. I hope this works, we know it is God's will so at some point it will all be okay.