Grade Cards

The kids got their grade cards this week and I must say I was a little upset. They made this huge deal out of how Joseph was going to fail if he didn't straighten up and this grade card was the one for the end of the semester. The only subject he had an F average in was Spelling and believe me we have been through this, he can NOT spell. So how is it that they get that he is failing. I'm not saying that he is doing well but he isn't failing. I know it is still bad but I was so worried about him failing because I just want him out of that school. On another note, he is doing better, at least for now. He is getting most of his work done and has went quite a few days without getting his name on the board. I think the idea of failing really shook him up so I guess that was a good thing. I went to pick him up Monday and I got the standard "you should really put him on meds" speech from one of the teachers. I so hate it when they start that. It is not worth the trade-off for him anymore. Yes when he was younger it helped tremendously but it no longer helps enough to warrant the fact that he doesn't grow while he is on it. Have you seen my son lately? If you have you would understand. He has grown tons in the last year and the oh so skinny little thing is actually getting a gut!!! You gotta love that. He is old enough to start learning how to deal with the problems on his own. I have faith that he can overcome it. Plus spring isn't that far away and then he can burn off most of that extra energy.

The few things on my mind(as small as it might be)

It's been one of those days, I just feel kind of out of sync and tired. Weird, that's the only way to describe it. I'm not sure what is bothering me and I hate it when I get like this. So I'm going to take it out on you. I'm truly not sure what has made me feel this way but I don't like it and I want it to go away. There are a few things that have been weighing on my mind and maybe it is the combination of them all.
First of all why is it that most people assume that if you are a stay at home mom that what you do all day is watch soaps and surf the net? Granted, now that all of my kids are in school I do have more time on my hands but I still stay busy, some days very busy. I am constantly trying to better myself and do the things that need to be done. There are always things that need to be taken care of and done. I have 4 kids for goodness sake, keeping them all well and healthy is a task in and of itself. Not many days go by that I don't have more than a few things that have to be done. So just because my kids are all in school that means that I should be getting a job or doing something huge. Since Matt's in Kindergarten he no longer needs me? For that matter does Audrey not need me anymore because she is about to be a teen? It seems to me that they need me more than ever, not less. I have the privilege of being able to stay home and raise my kids, why does that make me less of a person or not as intelligent as someone who works? Eventually I want to go back to school but I'm still not sure that I would ever take a job but for now I want to enjoy the gifts that God has given me. That includes my kids and the ability to be here for them.
That brings me to the next thing that is weighing on my mind. I read a blog this morning and it really brought me to my knees. I do not intend to offend with this so if I do please let me know. Kay Kidd wrote about how much she missed her son and my heart broke for her and for myself. We all take the things that we are given for granted. I love my kids but it is so easy to get caught up with the things that need to be done and to forget about the things that should be done. I want to make sure and remember to let my kids know that I love them, completely. I want to relax a little and have fun with them. I want to enjoy every minute that God gives me with them. Thanks Kay for reminding me of that. You are a wonderful woman.
So maybe now I will feel a little better and get out of this funk. I just want to focus on what is important and be happy. There are people out there who will never quit judging and being demeaning but I hope to be able to relax and forget about them and only remember those who can have a positive influence on me.

Today not Tomorrow

I don't believe in New Years resolutions. I think if you really want to change it starts today not tomorrow or next week or next year. When someone says I'm going to start dieting Monday, that Monday usually never comes. If you really want to make a difference in your life why do you have to wait for a certain day to start, you start today. You start NOW!! I decided I wanted to do some things this year and I'm not waiting until next week, next month or the next year. I'm starting now. I really want to go back to school eventually and I'm thinking maybe next year (with 2 kids in Middle school and Matt in the 1st grade it should be a much calmer world) so I would like to do some things this year that I really want to do.
I really want to get my Bible read all the way through. I haven't done that since I was a teenager (about the time I started having kids) and it's about time I did it again. I have been trying but haven't gotten far but I found a site the other day about reading your Bible in a year and decided to follow it. Yes I'm starting a little late but I'm doubling up for a while to catch up. There are 1189 books in the Bible so if you read just 3 ¼ books a day you can do it in a year. That's not bad at all.
I also would like to read more this year. I'm aiming for 50 books. If I can get in a book a week I can do it and I really don't think that will be a problem, It has been so long since I have really been able to read much and I really want to catch up on all of the authors that I really like so I should have plenty of options.
Of course there is the weight loss goal and that is going pretty well. I really want to get healthy this year and to be able to enjoy this summer with my kids. I want to be able to ride bikes with them and I really want me and Audrey to be able to play tennis this summer.
Another thing I want to concentrate on is my crocheting. I hope to get quite a few projects done this year and there are so many new things that I would like to try. I absolutely love to crochet and I want to get better at it. There are a few other "crafty" things I need to finish too (I'm much better at the crocheting thing than I am at the sewing thing).
There are many other things that I want to work on this year to (like learning to play the piano) but those are the main ones. I want to try so many different things and I think it is important to continue to learn new things. I've spent so many years having and raising babies (not to say that my job is anywhere near done) and now I need to get back to being my own person, Today not Tomorrow.

Not so Great

I really didn't do that bad this week but I didn't lose any weight, not an ounce. It's ok though. I can't expect to lose that much all the time. I really wish I would have done measurments when I started, I have a feeling that would be way more encouraging. I am doing great with the exercising though although the more I read and research the more confused I get on the subject. There are so many different opinions on what is the "best" way to go about things that it is ridiculous. I was up to walking a full hour but then I found all of this research that it isn't good to exercise for over 45 minutes because after that your body starts producing extra cortisol. How do you decide which advice to follow? I have no idea. For now though I am just walking my 2 miles which keeps me right under 45 minutes. The whole "dieting" thing isn't any less confusing, I had to go to the doctor this week and she ask how I was doing with the triglyceride lowering and we started talking about dieting. She said that if you don't eat enough that your body will hold onto every bit of food that you put into it and you won't lose anything. How's that for you? Finding the right balance seems to be an impossibility. Guess it will work itself out eventually.

Student Assistance Team---Really?

We got a letter in the mail last week saying that there was going to be a meeting about Joseph at the school. A meeting of the SAT (student assistance team) because his test scores (WEST test) and school grades showed a discrepancy. So here I am thinking great, finally somebody is going to straighten this situation out. Don't get me wrong, I am not one of those parents that think her kids can do no wrong. I know that Jo is lazy and that he just flat out isn't doing his work. If no one at the school, however, will hold him responsible for the work or cooperate with me to let me know what he isn't doing then seriously what can be expected. I can't hold him responsible if I can't keep up with what he's doing and if you leave a kid that age the choice of doing or not doing work – what do you think they will choose? So I'm excited and ready for a change.
Then we show up at the school and with in just a few minutes I know that this is going to be a disappointment. There are NO strangers around anywhere, first bad sign. Then other parents start showing up and saying are you here for a meeting too? Second bad sign. The first parent gets to start her meeting and I am now extremely upset. It's just the teacher (that won't hold them responsible) and the principal (who I've already had this discussion with more than once). That is their SAT, Please!!!!! I am now completely disappointed.
They show us all the work he hasn't done and tell us how close he is to failing etc. etc. They bring him in and tell him and make sure that he knows that we now know that he isn't doing the work. I'm thinking yeah that's all great but how do we turn this thing around. Then for the first time since she's been there I am pleased with the principal and see where she was going with this whole meeting from the start. She wanted us all to be in the same room at the same time, that way when someone says they will do something it is more likely to actually happen. So I actually walked away pleased!!!!! I couldn't believe it. From now on if Jo doesn't finish a paper instead of hounding him about it the teacher will take it to the office and they will mail it home. By next week they should have Edline up and running. The middle school already has this and it is great. The teachers have to put all the grades into the computer, the parents get a code and they can go online and see all of the grades and assignments anytime that they want. Plus I am now more than welcome to show up anytime I want to and check on how he is doing, the teacher will call home anytime Jo gets really off focus and we even have permission to call him at home anytime we have a question or concern. Now hopefully we can get him through this year, out of this school and on with his life!!! Hooray!!!!

Despite my Shortcomings.......

I still lost 1.6 lbs. this week. I did good for the most part but like I said I have my shortcomings. I made chicken and dunplings one night and had an oreo shake Wed. night when we went to church. So I was really impressed when I lost anything. I've had a little trouble with walking but It is getting better. My ankle started hurting really bad when I was walking. So I've had to slow down a little, bought new shoes and am stretching REALLY good before I start. It is doing better now but I'm going to stay a little slower(2.8 instead of 3 mph). I'm still doing 2 miles right now but next week I'm going to start increasing the amount of time I'm walking.

Well on my way

Well I'm down another 2.2 lbs. That makes almost 18. I reached my first "mini" goal that I set for myself of being under a certain weight for the first time in awhile. I still can't tell that much of a difference in my size (although Mike says I'm crazy) but I do feel great!!! I'm up to 40 minutes of walking now and still walking at 3 mph so I'm getting 2 miles in. I'm going to stay at 3 mph until I can get an hour in with no problem and then I will start trying to get faster again. I did decent with eating this week but I did have a piece of Mike's ice cream cake on his birthday. I honestly don't miss the junk food and pop as much as I thought I would and other foods taste so much better when you aren't eating all of that stuff. It's not always easy but it's not as hard as I thought it would be.
Once I lose the weight that I need to I hope I can be like my dad. He eats pretty sensible but has what he wants on special occasions and things, then every January he weighs and takes a month or so to lose what he gained the year before(which is never much) and then goes back to normal. He walks and exercises all the time, of course and that is what makes the difference I'm sure. I just can't wait to be really healthy again and I'm sooo looking forward to being able to really ride bikes with the kids this summer (and not just pretend and kill myself in the process).

So Ecstatic

I've done really well this week!! Exercised everyday and ate really well!! I had a cup of cocoa last night and the sugar about killed me. I was giggly and if you know me that is just not right haha!!! Then I weighed this morning and I'm down 3.8 pounds this week. So that makes the total almost 15 now. I honestly can't tell that much of a difference in my size but it is still great. Where I can tell the difference is in how I feel. My exercise level keeps getting better too. You guys have no idea how out of shape I was. The first day on the treadmill I could only walk for 15 minutes and that was at 2 mph. This morning I walked for 30 min. at 3 mph and made it 1.5 miles. Now compared to some peoples 5 mile a day run that isn't much but it is huge for me and someday I will get to those 5 miles, I promise.