One day, One choice, One pound at a time

SW-218
LW-185.6
CW-185.2
GW-160


I have always had trouble with having an all or nothing attitude when it came to my weight. That is why I had never really dieted because I didn't want to start until I knew I would give it my all. When I first started this journey if I would eat one wrong thing that was it for the day, I already messed up so why bother? I thought I had completely rid myself of that attitude. I know that eating one thing that I shouldn't doesn't mean that the whole day is wasted, I just keep doing and do my best from that very point forward. One Choice at a time! I realized this week however that I had just transfered that attitude over to exercising. If I knew I was going to have a hectic day and didn't have time to do at least 3 miles in the morning then I just didn't bother. Why? I thought. Why can't I walk even if I can only manage 30 minutes? No, it may not be the workout that I am use to but when I started exercising I could barely get in 15 minutes. Any exercise has to be better than nothing at all. 30 minutes is what they recommend you, at least, do for heart health so even if I'm not getting in exercise that will cause weight loss I am doing what is healthy for my body and that is suppose to be my whole goal. I had become caught up in pushing myself hard and figured if I wasn't being pushed hard then I wasn't accomplishing anything. All or nothing, why do we do that to ourselves? So this week I have just been doing what I can, when I can. No I have not pushed myself to the point of exhaustion everday but I feel like I have accomplished more. I have made each day and each choice count for something.





I had to weigh on Friday instead of Saturday since we won't be home all weekend.

It's already noted that I am a gadget-addict so I had to try mobile blogging. Trip is going well but I now know why we haven't traveled for years

We are going on a trip. WE are going on a TRIP?

We are going on a trip and given how much my Dear One loves to travel this should be fun
interesting. My brother is getting married and in lieu of the big church wedding, with all of its aggravations and dissatisfaction (can you tell I wish I hadn’t fallen into the church wedding trap), they are just going to Gatlinburg and using one of the beautiful churches there. I, myself am very excited and so are all of the brats but Dear One although fine with going to the wedding would much rather stay home than have to go anywhere far. We never take trips and never go on vacation which I am fine with because in all honesty I would rather stay at home most of the time too. I am starting to feel that maybe we are depriving our children though and I think it is about time we started taking them to see more places and things. We can’t really do the beach (many light complexions and a daughter that is allergic to the sun don’t mix so well with beach weather) so I’m thinking Pigeon Forge may be a great alternative. If we like it there and I can talk him into it we may take an actual vacation there next year. For now though I am just hoping to relax and enjoy. More details promised so stay tuned.

Wordless Wednesday

My Haircut

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This weeks Pop Quizzes were:

Monday: How do you have a good time shopping even though you hate to shop?

Tuesday: How do you keep your kids talking to you as they get older?

Wednesday: How do you juggle everything?

Thursday: Can a parent be any prouder than when their child succeeds?

Friday: How do you motivate someone to use the wisdom God has given them?

Saturday: Who are you to judge me?

Sunday: Do I really listen to God?

Random Abandon

If Ignorance is bliss, Why aren't more people happy?

Long week filled with juggling - Must remind myself often this week to tell Dear One how much I appreciate him.

Spring is almost gone and I have not done the dreaded "Spring Cleaning"

Note to self:

Junk-stuff that you throw away

Stuff-junk that you don't throw away

Without forgiveness life is governed

by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.

From Honor to Failure

Thursday Audrey got inducted into the National Junior Honor Society and that night got an award for being first in her math class. We are very proud of her, she is an excellent student and a wonderful person (at least when she’s away from the confines of our home). Friday I had to go and talk to the principal of the boys’ school and make sure they weren’t going to fail Joseph. What a comparison that is! What really gets me is that I know that he has the potential to do as good, if not better, than she does in school. It is just so frustrating to sit back and watch him not even try. I cannot understand this attitude that he has, I cannot figure out where it comes from and it just makes no sense to me. I am hoping that if we send him on to Junior High that a lot of the problems will stay behind at the Elementary School. I am not saying that the school is completely to blame but a lot of the problems do stem from there. My son is being lazy but if you allow a 10 year old the freedom to be lazy what do you think they are going to do? He does not need to have that choice; he should be made to do the work and punished for not doing it. We haven’t been able to do what we would normally either because we can’t get them to tell us what he should be doing, what he is doing and what he isn’t doing. It has just been a mess of a year with him and I am so ready to move on to a new start. I am so tempted at this point to talk bad about his teacher but I am going to keep that to myself. It might make me feel better for a few minutes but it wouldn’t help the situation any, so I will bite my tongue. Here’s to hoping a clean slate and a little guidance is exactly what he needs.

Side Note - I'm always looking for information to help me with Joseph and I have found an article about a book that I am going to have to find and read. I will let you know what I think of it. You can see the article here and here is a link to the information about the book. It may just be more crap but most of the time you have to read a lot of crap to find the few gems out there.

One day, One choice, One pound at a time

SW-218
LW-185.2
CW-185.6
GW-160

So I didn't lose any this week and I technically gained a little. I'm not too concerned though because I am sunburnt and when I got sunburnt 2 weeks ago I held onto almost 2 lbs. for a few days. So we'll see where I am once that goes away. I'm having trouble getting my exercise in right now so that is putting a huge damper on losing much. There is just so much going on with the kids, where it is the end of the school year and baseball season is in full swing, that it is hard to find time for much. At best I am getting in about 3 good exercise days a week. Next week won't be much better because of our plans but after that I should be able to kick my exercise back into full throttle. Slow and steady I guess. The first 30 lbs. came off so fast that it is hard to then come to a slow pace but I know that is the only way it is going to stay with me so I am okay with it. One day, One choice, One pound at a time.

Purple Confusion

So I've been having this conversation with myself over and over lately and could not figure out an answer. As I drive up the road each day I keep seeing this purple "bag" hanging in a tree. I have tried and tried to figure out exactly what it is doing there. I have went over many options in my head but not a one of them seemed to fit. Although I watch the news daily (too much, Dear One and the kids say) I never watch the local news but for some reason I left it on while I was doing things tonight and when I looked up there was my purple bag. So I cranked up the volume and couldn't believe my ears. It's a bug trap! Apparently we, and by we I mean my whole state, are having problems with the Emerald Ash Borer and this is the way for them to keep track of them. So now my mystery is solved and I can drive up the road without feeling I am going crazy because I'm talking to myself.

Picture of a trap like the one in the tree I pass daily, I would take a picture of the actual one but its in a bad curve and I'm not quite that crazy.

Wordless Wednesday

Wouldn't you like to know more?

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How do you keep your kids close?

As my kids get older I can feel them pulling away. I have done all of the things that I know to do, I have tried hard to talk to them and not be judgmental and I have spent time with them and kept them close. They still talk to me but I know that they are starting to hide things. They try to tell me only what they want me to know, forgetting that I can find out anything that I want to know about them (and for the most part I can). I want them to come to me when they have a problem, when they are excited about something that happened or when they have been hurt. I don’t know how to make that happen though, I thought I was doing everything right but I guess not. I know people that have that kind of relationship with their kids but I don’t know how they got it. They will say “I don’t know I just always talked to them.” but there is more than that. Somewhere, there is more. If anyone has a real answer for me…..let’s hear it.

This weeks Pop Quizzes were:

Monday: What do I do with all these shoes?

Tuesday: How long can it rain?

Wednesday: Do we really eat this much?

Thursday: How do you deal with a crazy person?

Friday: Should Fed-Ex really be expected to deliver?

Saturday: Why did I ask how long it could rain?

Sunday: Do people stop to think about what they are doing?

P.S. - I'm working on a header for this posting but I'm tired now and haven't been able to finish it yet. More work tomorrow, I promise!!
Tuesday update - Still don't like the header - working on it!!

Random Abandon

You burn more calories frowning than smiling. Now isn't that a nice twist on what your mom always told you.

Any kid that has two parents who aren't daily trying to destroy each other and that don't treat them like they are idiots should bow daily at their parents feet.

Watched P.S. I love you - it rocked. Very sad - good for a cry. Only one thought- Are there men that really do these things?

People are lazy, if they can get by without doing their jobs, they will. Don't empower them with that choice.

And on a final note (and I love this):
Banging your head against the wall burns 150 calories an hour.
Is it really the banging or the anger it takes to be stupid enough to do it?

One day, One choice, One pound at a time

SW-218
LW-186.1
CW-185.2
GW-160

One more pound down. I was hoping for a little more but I’ll take it. I’m gradually getting back to where I need to be in my mind. It’s hard sometimes, I like to lie to myself about how things really are and it’s usually the easier way. I can’t keep doing that though. I have to be honest with myself if I want to get anywhere. Of course that applies to so many things, weight loss and fitness probably being the least of them. I have got to step out of this rut that my life has been in and I can feel that happening. No, losing weight is not going to solve every problem that I have but it is a start. I see people that are so confident about their selves and wonder how in the world they got that way. I don’t want to be self-important but I would like to feel comfortable in my own skin. I honestly don’t think it is about a number on the scale though, it is more likely about what I see when I look in the mirror. Quite honestly, I have never been able to like that. I don’t necessarily think that I’m ugly but I don’t see myself as pretty either. I want to change that, I think that is part of being fit. I want to be able to say “Melanie, you look good today” when I look in that mirror. I have realized that it’s not all about a pretty face or a smoking hot bod (although I’m sure those things would make it easier), it is more about the attitude and how you feel about yourself. Like I’ve said before, when I was young and skinny, I still didn’t have that but I have never before in my life been healthy and I know now that THAT is the difference. I feel better about my self daily (at least on most days) and the times when I get down and don’t feel like exercising or eating right I can feel the downward spiral coming on. If I don’t pick myself up and make myself start over, I know where it will end and it won’t be in a good place. Each day is a new start and a new chance, each choice is a new start and a new chance. One day, one choice, one pound at a time.

Fed-Ex; Halfway! You go the rest of the way.

Warning: Rant in Progress!!

Dear One needed a part for his old truck, so I went on-line and ordered it but standard shipping was 5-7 days and of course he needs it now (this time he really did). So I gladly paid $19.99 extra to get it shipped to him in one day because I really don’t feel like being without a vehicle again. I’m sitting here enjoying my day and the Fed-Ex guy calls. He wants to know if I will drive out to the local gas station and get my package. Excuse me? What? I paid extra to have it delivered and you want me to come to you and get it. I almost said “Sure I’ll come and get it” (that is just my nature) and had I got the regular shipping I probably would have but why should I? Granted we live, pretty much, in the middle of nowhere but what does that matter. He gets paid to do a job; it is not my problem if he is running late. I paid for a service and I expect to receive that service.
When he arrived to deliver the package he was courteous and his only comment was “It wasn’t as far up here as I thought”. Well thank you. I don’t care if it had been 50 miles instead of 5; it’s still your job. I started to say “Yeah, Well I have to pay for my own gas!”

Parent = Role Model

This is our first year of actual Little League and

Wait maybe that could use a little explaining. For anyone who isn’t familiar with the system kids start out playing T-ball (which actually has a story of its own this year), then they move up to what they call Minor League (also where they go if they fail to make the Little League team) and then on to Little League.

Now where was I …? Oh yes. This is our first year of Little League and it is quite astonishing to me what parents are capable of. I love to watch my kids play ball, it is fun for them but what happens when the parents (and grandparents for that matter) push it past having fun. I know they are supposed to take it seriously and do their best but they should be able to do that and have a good time at the same time. The way some parents act you would think they were in the final game of the World Series. How do they push their kids so hard? How do they justify cursing in front of a bunch of kids because they think there was a bad call? I honestly just don’t get it. If you want to encourage your kids, that’s great. If you want them to be the best pitcher (only an example) in existence, that’s great. Can you not be a good role model while doing this? If your only concern is that your kids end up rich then great but if you want them to grow up to be, at the very least, a decent person then maybe you should rethink how you act in their presence and how you interact with them.

Side Note:
The T-ball thing. This year they started ….. Are you ready? Not using a Tee. Okay there is a reason for the T in T-ball. This could actually go back to the above portion. Why do we have to push our kids to grow up so fast? Yes, it makes them more prepared when they move to Minor League but at what cost? Now I’m sure I already covered this above.

Wordless Wednesday

Gotta Love Baseball Season!!

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So many shoes that I don't know what to do!

“What do other people do with their shoes?” Dear One asked, as he once again tripped over the shoes to get in the door. It was a legitimate question that deserved an answer but I didn’t have an answer. I don’t go through other peoples houses looking to see what they do with their shoes. A basket of shoes outside the front door, shoes piled up at the entrance, shoes in every closet; I don’t know what else to do with them. When you have a family of 6 living in the size house that we do, there are only so many places to hide things. We are not, by any means, shoe crazy people but with this many people, with just a few pair a piece, it becomes overwhelming. So I decided to ask what other people do with their shoes and waited for some miraculous answer. I can now safely tell Dear One the next time he is yelling as tripping over shoes, that we are no different from anyone else but that there are a few options. If he doesn’t want to trip over shoes as he comes through the door, we could move because apparently taking your shoes off at the door is a tradition that varies with where you live. If he wants to be sure there are no spiders in his shoes, we can store them in the big plastic totes. I can constantly remind him that it could be worse, I could be a shoe addict like many people are or I could have a foot fetish or I could leave them in the car all of the time. If all else fails though (and I must admit on some days this is my favorite choice) we can just get rid of the kids because they are the real culprits. So we will continue to do what every one else does and quickly hide the shoes when we know someone is coming.

This post was submitted to a contest at Scribbit.

Random Abandon

"Mean"iac (n.) - what daddy is when he drives silly

Me to Dear One after he asks if we were making fun of him;
“You really need to grow up, we weren’t talking about you, we were arguing over Starburst”. (Yes I realized how mature this sounded after I said it).

Sitting in the sun outside of a Wal-Mart for hours will result in sunburn; even if it is partially cloudy and windy.

I love gadgets, I am addicted to gadgets; I need help.

Sixlets are not diet food. (Oops, I still have work to do.)

Fitness Honesty

I’m going to do something new, (“Again” they yawn). I’m going to be brutally honest with myself. I want this change to be a change for life and sometimes that seems impossible. It seems that maybe full disclosure is the only way to go. Sometimes it is sobering to take a step back and look at how things really are or were. One of the worst things for any woman is for someone to ask how much they weigh but I am going to tell you without you asking. I’m going to go through my timeline of weight and be completely honest about how much I have gained and where I want to end up.

When I got pregnant with Audrey I already thought I was overweight and I weighed a whopping 135 lbs. I lost down to about 123 lbs. because I was so sick with the pregnancy and then gained around 35 lbs. I lost about 10 lbs. in between my pregnancy with her and getting pregnant with Jo. With that pregnancy I gained about 25 lbs. and lost none afterwards. With the third pregnancy I gained 18 lbs. and lost none. I gained a little more in between having Drew and getting pregnant with Matt. While pregnant with Matt I only gained 1 lb. but I was already so overweight that I didn’t need to gain any. I lost quite a bit after having Matt because I was so sick (I’ll have to post that story at some point) but then had to have tests for the next 6 months that required having dye shot into me every 6 weeks. This caused me to gain 30 lbs. within a matter of weeks. So at this point I weighed right at 190 lbs. I knew I had gained a little and then when I got the pneumonia back in November the steroids made me gain even more. When they weighed me at the doctors office when I went for my check-up to see if I was getting better I weighed in at a truly whopping amount – 218 lbs. I literally about fell off of the scale when I saw that number. So there it is out in the open – from the time I was 17 until now I had gained a total of (I know you’ve been keeping track in your head) 95 lbs. Yes you read that number right. Now in all honesty I have no intention of ever being down to 123 again, that is not in my plan. My goal at this point is to be down to a size 12 and I figure that would mean weighing about 160 and that I needed to lose a total of 58 lbs. from where I started. So from now on you are going to get specific numbers from me. To heck with it, I figure, what can it hurt at this point? Plus seeing this in print and knowing exactly how huge I was is a major incentive to keep at this. The beginning of all future check-ins will look like this.

SW-(starting weight) 218
LW-(last weight) 186.2
CW-(current weight) 186.1
GW-(goal weight) 160

As you can see, I have now lost a total of 31.9 lbs. and to reach my initial goal I still need to lose 26.1 lbs. That initial goal may change; honestly I am just going to see how I feel as I get close. I am not at all concerned with being a skinny little thing, I only want to be healthy. Yes weight loss has to be part of that but it is not my main goal. There will be more to come, I promise.

I am Illiterate.....

It’s true. I am completely illiterate. More often than not when I try to figure something out, given a little time, I can master it. This HTML stuff is really kicking my butt though. I can not seem to figure out exactly how it all works. I will though, if it kills me.
On that note, I have been considering going back to school for a while and I think I finally know what I’m going to do. I’m going to set my sights on a bachelor degree for now but I definitely want the focus to be on writing and learning more about computers. I haven’t found the perfect program yet but I know things will work out in the way that they are meant to. I’m doing a lot of research on it now and looking at all of my options. I know that in order to get any kind of degree I will have to take classes other than those pertaining to writing and computers but that is okay. That is definitely where my main focus will be though. I’m not sure that I will ever want to work and hopefully I will never need to work but I do want to be prepared and to feel like I am putting some effort into this life that I’m living. I don’t want to become just an empty shell once my kids are grown and gone. I want to be a living, breathing, learning person that people actually feel is worthy of taking up the space around them.

Pray for those that despitefully use you?

Matthew 5: 43-44

43 –You have heard that it hath been said; Thou shalt love thy neighbor and hate thine enemy.
44 – But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

The bible teaches us to love our enemies, bless those that curse us, do good to those that hate us and to pray for the people who use us and persecute us. I’m not sure it is entirely possible for us as humans to really practice this. It is so hard to forget the things that people do, we are human and we hang on to the things that hurt us. It is really difficult at times to just turn away from that hurt. I sometimes wonder exactly what Jesus meant when he was saying this. Is it meant more in the way of a popular saying today – Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Reread the first verse, does it not sound almost exactly like that is where he was going with this statement. So maybe he didn’t mean for us to forget and move on. He meant for us to pray that they would see the error of their ways, meant for us to learn from what they had done to us but to move on and not let it ruin our lives. It doesn’t say we have to continue to let them hurt us or cause havoc in our lives. He only says that we need to love them and pray for them. I personally don’t believe that he expects us to set back and let them despitefully use us over and over.

Romans 16: 17 Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.

See he doesn’t expect us to allow people to behave how ever they want and just continue to ignore it and look the other way. We should stand up against the things that people do and say “No I don’t have to be a part of this”. You should mark them and show that you don’t approve of the things that they do. You can still love them, pray for them and bless them without being involved with them. I’m sorry, call me wrong or hypocritical all you want, I know what I believe in my heart is the right thing to do. I don’t care how much twisting they do to try to make me look bad or to get back into our lives; I’m having no part of it. Threats don’t set well with me or work well on me. I’m standing my ground, I know that it’s firm, so I have no trouble standing tall.

Wordless Wednesday

Too much to do, Too little time

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It has arrived!

I got my Mother’s Day present today and we are now officially a multi-computer family. I’m still working on getting everything fixed up and running smoothly and getting all of my information off of the desktop and onto here. I can’t wait to have a little time to play with the Photoshop and start learning how to do some stuff with that. So far though I have to say that I absolutely love this thing. I will have to watch the laziness meter on my hind end. I am going to be so lost in this thing. I think I may have some sweet dreams tonight.

A decent week, If you don't count The Scare

Today’s fitness blog is going to take a slight turn; it is going to have two parts. First about my fit-ness and then another health issue I’ve dealt with this week. I wasn’t sure I was going to talk about it but I mentioned it yesterday and I can’t get by without mentioning it today so I figure I might as well just bite the bullet. I must say though, It won’t be pretty, so don’t read it if you don’t want to. This seems to be turning into more of a confessional for me than blogging about fitness. Don’t get me wrong, I lost 1.4 lbs. this week but not because I did anything right. I only exercised three times this week and while my eating wasn’t ridiculous it wasn’t great either. This week I am getting it kicked back in, I did great the week before this one but as you will see below this week got lost after day 3. I’m going back to weighing and blogging about it on Saturdays, I will lose a few days this week but it seems to be easier for me. How I got a few days off I don’t even remember but it is time to get this back to where it works for me.

Since I have started this fitness journey many things have become better for me. One of which definitely included my cycle. I was getting really regular, granted it wasn’t a 28 day cycle like many woman have but any kind of regularity for me is a miracle. Every 5 weeks, like clockwork, I was getting my period. Then it stopped. This is nothing out of the ordinary for me and I figured that it was no big deal. I had gone three months and not had one and at a point or two I considered the fact that I might be pregnant. I played a cool April fool’s joke on all of my friends with my Myspace blog and accidentally caught my Dear One up in it too (I honestly had no idea he read them). Shortly after that though I started worrying but then decided there was no way. I finally started on Wednesday or at least I thought I did. It has been horrible and I am almost certain I have had a miscarriage. I have had a tubal done, so the odds of it being viable were very slim and given the pain I’ve been in I would guess it was in my tubes. This would be the second tubal pregnancy since I had my tubal done so I’m going to have to break down and go to the doctor. Now I have explained yesterdays mad dog reference (have pity on my Dear One), as well as the general lack of exercise at the end of the week (it came from the fear of bleeding to death) so I think I’m done. I’m thinking maybe the April fool’s joke wasn’t such a cool idea after all.

Random Abandon

Random- without an identifiable pattern, plan, system, or connection
Abandon-complete lack of inhibition or self-restraint

Matt – “No mom you won’t be old until your 40.”
Me- “So I have about 10 good years left?”
Matt – “Maybe, We’ll see.”

Baseball Season began
Opening day(Saturday)was beautiful, sunny with a nice breeze. Tuesday it was so cold the games were cancelled. It’s the start of a wonderful season. More details to come, I’m sure.


They had the first monthly Dickens’ dinner on Saturday but we didn’t make it. We were otherwise disposed but I hear it went pretty well. Except for the expected things from the expected people.

On a final note, my Dear One just told me that he didn’t tell me that he was out of medicine because he was afraid I would attack him like a mad dog. As you can guess I’ve had a rough week. More details on that later too.

You brought home a hitchhiker?

Mike walked in the door yesterday with a hitchhiker. He scared me to death. I thought he had brought home some stranger to help him work on his truck but I looked out the door and it was just Joseph. He couldn’t have been at school more than 30 minutes but oh well. I love what a great Dad he is. When you have four kids it is hard to find time to make them all feel special but we do try. They just spent the whole day working on Mike’s old truck and goofing off. This of course meant that I had to then handle the whole evening by myself because he does have to sleep at some point but that’s just one of the joys of parenthood. This is where friends come in handy!

Becoming a multi-computer family

When I was in High School computers were just starting to be used in classrooms. The internet wasn’t available yet and all we could do was the basic programming bits and pieces that they would allow and play games. I got married at 16 and we were basically broke for many years so when I did finally get a computer I had no clue what all they were capable of. Audrey was 4 when we got the first computer and for years all I did on it was e-mail and games with the kids. Slowly I started to figure out that there was a whole new world in that little box. I didn’t want to have the phone line tied up all day while the kids were in school though so it wasn’t until we got cable internet that I really got hooked. Now I use it for everything and last year when our computer went down I was lost (Read that story). So I bought myself a Mother’s Day present this year. We will soon be a multi-computer family and I can’t wait. My beautiful laptop should be here in a little over a week and I know it is going to open up even more possibilities. I got it with Adobe Photoshop loaded on it so that I have something new to learn. When the inevitable day comes and one of the computers messes up I will have something to fall back on and all of my data will be safe and sound. I just hope for the kids' sake their computer keeps running because they aren’t touching mine!