Boredom is not my Problem

This time of year is tough anyway but I figured since the kids would be here and we would be busy that I wouldn't have time to just relax and get bored and therefore I wouldn't eat as much. I was very wrong. When I get bored if I want something to eat I take the time to fix me something good so I'm not as likely to eat badly. So I haven't done great this week. I've also had yet another cold so the first few days of it I drunk pop when I shouldn't have. I have walked most days but didn't get to do any other kind of exercise. I know it all sounds bad but I weighed yesterday and I still lost 1 pound this week. So it's not too bad.
I've also found something very interesting. If I do my walking and exercise I am much less likely to eat when I shouldn't. I guess its that I don't want to waste all that effort.
I did pretty well with Christmas dinner at mom's too. I ate every thing that I wanted; I just didn't eat as much of it. I only had one of her homemade rolls and believe it or not only one piece of her impossible pumpkin pie.
As of last night we attended the last party for awhile so now maybe I can get serious about this thing. I realize that I have to be realistic and that there are times that you can't avoid eating things you shouldn't but those times can be few and far between. I don't intend on completely depriving myself either, I think that would only make things worse but again the treats can be few and far between. So wish me luck.

Treadmills, Sugars and Scales

I see no reason to even start on this journey of healthiness if I'm not going to do it right. The problem is in the figuring of what is right. How exactly do you find that? Some things are common sense but other are not always quite so clear.
Common Sense- I need exercise, there is no doubt about that. I will not walk around here alone and it is really hard to find the time to walk with someone else everyday, so we bought a treadmill.
Not so Clear- How fast should I walk? How far should I walk? How often should I walk? I have researched this and researched it and I still can't find a definite answer, so I am doing what I am comfortable with and that's that!! I know for a fact that something has to be better for me than nothing.
Common Sense- Sugar is not good for you.
Not so Clear- What all contains sugar? How much is okay? It is all so unclear. I have figured a lot of this out from research though. Let me just say first of all that there are very few things out there that don't contain sugar of some kind, it is ridiculous. From what I have read though if you want to completely free your body of the craving for sugar you need to go 2 weeks without it. I can do that; I really can….just not right now. I am avoiding all sugar here at home but its Christmas time and how do you go somewhere else and not eat sugar, it's impossible. And I will not miss my mom's cooking on Christmas Day. So for now I am doing my best to stay away from it. After the holidays, I'm kicking it for good. Then from there we will decide what kind of sugar is okay and in what amount.
Now a side note: I bought a scale when I went to the store the other day and from the highest I weighed at the doctors office (after all of the steroids) until this morning I have lost around 14 lbs. I know the scales can be different and I didn't have my shoes on, so I am guessing about 10 lbs. I already feel so much better though and I can tell a huge difference. A lot of it was swelling and water retention and to be rid of all of that is a great feeling all on its own.

Fit (not necessarily) Thin

I don't do diets. I have never seen the point. You can look at me and see that. I have at times tried to lose weight but only by trying to be sensible not by dieting. Only once in my life have I been at a weight that I thought was good (at the time). I can look back now and see that I should have been happy at other times but I wasn't. This one time that I was satisfied, I was going to a weight loss group with Mom and got pregnant with Audrey. I was so sick the first few months that I got to my goal weight easily. Isn't that a joke? Seriously though I have gained about 10 lbs. with each kid and then a little extra after that so I easily need to lose 50 lbs.
My big concern though is with my health. While I was sick over the last few months it really made me realize that all I am doing is hurting myself. The doctor did a complete work-up on me because of all the different things that went wrong while they were treating me for the pneumonia and almost everything was good. Almost that is because even though my cholesterol was perfect and everything else was right on target my triglycerides were through the roof. She gave me a list of things to avoid and things to eat while at the same time saying that she had never seen results quite like that. That's comforting!!!
So I started researching and found that the list of fats she gave me to avoid probably wouldn't make a bit of difference. Sugar was my culprit!! Now if you know me at all, you know about my love affair with Coke and although I had pretty much given it up already I had just moved on to something just as sugary but without the caffeine. I continued to research and guess what (this was very painful to me) the biggest source of sugar in our "diets" is CARBS!!! Okay you can have my pop and my junk but my bread, that's just not fair. I am doing it though or at least trying.
I've been at this for almost 2 weeks and have debated whether or not to post about it on here but this is the conclusion I have come to. Yes there is a chance that I may fail and everyone will know it but if I don't hold myself accountable in anyway to anyone then I have no extra motivation to keep me going when I could care less if I'm really healthy or not. So here it goes!! I'm going to start posting about how I'm doing and what I'm doing to get there. If you don't want to know, that's fine. If you just want to be nosy, that's fine. I would really appreciate any feedback or encouragement though. I promise to try to keep you updated regularly and to do my best to be healthy.

My How Far We've Come

Sometimes it's great to just take a look back and see just where you've been. When we get caught up in our lives and start to feel overwhelmed it can be helpful to look at what all we have made it through. I spent so many years of my life pregnant and raising SO many small kids that it seemed, at times, that there was no end to the madness. So when Matt turned 6 a few days ago I just had to dig up this picture and remind myself. No it isn't always a picnic but it is so much easier than it was when they were all little. When Matthew was born I had a 2, 4 and 6 year old. Now that seems like an impossible feat and I'm sure that I probably couldn't do it at this point in my life. How did I ever handle 2 kids in diapers and all of the crying and long nights? I honestly don't know but I made it through and If I can make it through that I can make it through the problems that they throw at me now. At times now I feel so alone but I can remember all of the long days of handling all of those kids by myself and realize that there is nothing wrong with having to do things on my own. I did pretty well with them, if I do say so myself. Don't take that wrong, yes I have a husband and he is exceptional with the kids but he has to work and most of his time with them gets to be fun. When I need him, he is there but I see so many people that have so much help with their kids and it gets upsetting but God knows what he is doing and what I can handle. We have made it this far and I know that we will do our best to raise the best human beings that we can.

Can I just say "What"?

We all know that some of the things this world does to be politically correct or to avoid offending people are on the ridiculous side. I have to say I think this is the worst example I have ever seen.
SYDNEY (AFP) - Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday. Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.
Can I just say "WHAT?". Is that not outrageous? Come on, if you get offended by the use of that maybe you deserve to be offended. Is it going to come to the point where we have to review everything that we say? I agree that there are words that can be extremely offensive if directed to a specific person or group but are we all so dumb that we can't discern a person's intent when they are saying something. Unless you are a huge HO why would you assume that a Santa was being insulting towards you when he says "Ho, Ho, Ho". Do you see where we are headed with this? It isn't pretty and it's only going to get worse.

Before you Panic....

Never and I mean never start a conversation with a mother that begins with "Before you panic" because what do we immediately do….PANIC. Audrey's coach called yesterday and when that was the first thing that he said to me I knew that it wasn't good. She dove after a ball in volleyball practice, slammed her body and then her head into the floor pretty hard. Okay we can handle that, then he says "and she knocked herself out". "She is okay though, she's setting right here and she's okay but I think you need to come and get her, I will tell you when you get here why we think she needs to go get checked out". Great, what is it that you can't tell me over the phone? I was a little aggravated. I wanted to know what was wrong but I hung up and went after her. We had to flag down the boys' bus and get them off and then we got behind every slow vehicle and bus possible on the way there. It is excruciating trying to get to your child when you know that they may not be alright. By the time we got there I was extremely annoyed that I didn't know what had happened that had them worried, that was until he told me and then I was so glad he hadn't told me on the phone. It would not have been good for us to know. The impact didn't actually knock her out; she passed out when she tried to get up and had a convulsion. Okay this is more than we can handle. Before we got from the school to the hospital our whole church was praying for her. She is fine, a slight concussion, a few bruises and she is really sore but she is fine. Nothing showed on any of the scans or anything. Thank You Lord!! She's not happy that she has to set out her first two games that are next week but she is healthy and will be fine so she can just get over that. It scared her though and it scared us. You can't be with your kids all the time, it's impossible but it is so hard to let them go after something like this happens. She doesn't want to set out her week but she is, then she will be back at it I'm sure. She is very dedicated to the things that she commits too and I love that about her but it's hard to not worry.

I'm a Cold, Cold Woman

I have been called cold many times in my life and that is fine. When it comes to my kids though I am not cold, people have no idea why I choose to act the way I do and they shouldn't judge me for it. From the time my first child was born I knew that I did not want them to be totally dependent and attached to me. I would love to be their whole world but is that really healthy for them…..NO it is not. I was scared from the minute I first got pregnant that some day I would not be able to be there for my children and I did not want their whole world to fall apart if that ever happened. It may be irrational, or maybe there is something coming in the future that I have always foreseen. I don't know what God has for us in the future but I want my kids to be able to handle themselves when it does come. My kids have not had to go through the trauma of crying everyday for weeks when they start school or not being able to do something that they want to do because they can't leave my side. They know that I love them and that I will always be there for them to every bit of my ability but they also know that they can do most things by and for themselves. If they need me I am there but I do not hover or interfere, I am very protective, they don't go anywhere that I am not sure they will be as safe as can be expected in this world. So no one has the right to call me cold. I have raised my kids, trained my kids and loved my kids in the way that I felt was right and best for them. Does that make me right and you wrong or the other way around? No it doesn't. I love my children more than anything and I have devoted everything that I have to getting them to this point, so yes I am excited that they are all in school and starting the next phases of their lives and yes I am excited to have a little time to myself and away from them. If that makes me cold in your eyes then so be it. Let's see what the future has to hold, you may find that my way wasn't quite as bad as you thought.

Not everyone that says Lord, Lord

Not everyone that saith unto me Lord, Lord
shall enter into thy kingdom of heaven
but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in Heaven.
If you are a Christian and you want to know why the world thinks so little of you just watch this season of Big Brother and it will be clear. I have to say that these people do not represent the Christianity that I believe in or live daily. If this is what people see everyday it is no wonder that they think we are a joke.
Yes, we are not perfect, we all make mistakes, and after all we are all human. You can't live however you want, say what ever you want or do what ever you want though. If you go in to something with the thought in your head that its ok God will forgive me, you are walking a very fine line. That is a willful sin and God doesn't take that lightly and he may not continue to tolerate it.
Christians are no better than anyone else, the only thing that sets you apart is God's forgiveness. We are all as filthy rags unless we have accepted that forgiveness and are doing our best to live up to that honor. You can't guilt someone because they don't agree with your beliefs and you can't cram your religion down their throats. You have to let them see that Belief in your life. You definitely won't accomplish much by cussing them when they catch you up in your faults.
Most importantly you can't use God as an excuse for your bad choices. Just because you thought you were doing what God wanted does not mean that you were right. If you commit to doing something or helping someone and it turns out it was the wrong decision or they weren't what you thought then you stand up and admit you were wrong and do what is right. You don't say I have to do it because I promised I would, you do what is right and then God will help you with the fall-out.
Like I said no one is perfect, we all mess up at times but that's when you ask for forgiveness- from both God and anyone you hurt. Then you move on!!! I just hope that anyone that reads this can take this point away with them - Not everyone that saith unto me Lord, Lord shall enter into thy kingdom of heaven but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in Heaven. Mt.7:21

Downtime

Okay so I have been without a computer for a month. It was definitely an eye-opener. It wasn't all that bad except for the nights that I couldn't sleep (but if you know me, you know that's a lot of nights). I did some reading and a lot of writing – with an actual pencil. I hadn't done much writing for years and I had forgotten how good it feels to just write things down on paper. Above all I was reminded of what I wanted to do with my life when I actually use to think about such things. I wanted to write and I think it's time to look into some classes. For now though I can just keep boring you guys. So now on to my "downtime" for the last month, this is just a small part of what I have written in that time.
July 16th
I am realizing how spoiled I am. I miss my computer so very much. I had no idea how much I used the computer-how much we all used it. We don't sit on it for long periods of time so it never seemed like much. Music, pictures, recipes and looking up every little thing we want to know. We can't charge our Ipods and we have nothing to do with the pictures that we take. I can't make my favorite soup and I can't pay a lot of my bills that were set up electronically. Mike can't check his Raymond points daily or keep up with his 401K and the list goes on and on. We depend on it for so many things. How will we make it? Hopefully my laptop doesn't take long to get here.
July 19th
Today I had to break down and go to the Library and pay my bills. I was worried about putting any information in there but it all worked out. Most of them had all of the information saved in my profile and the ones that didn't I got numbers to call and pay them. So no bank account information had to be put in. The wait for my laptop is killing me- I shouldn't have been so picky!!
July 20th
As if not having a computer weren't enough now we are also without a phone (once again some lovely person stole the lines). So we are completely cut off from the outside world. I'm not sure how people use to live like this, with no connection to other people, it could drive you crazy.
July 23rd
Yet another concession. We had to buy a charger for our Ipods. We couldn't make it another day without them (yeah right). The gadget is cool but it's just another thing that the computer could be doing. It will be one less thing to bog the computer down when we do get it – Ipods will only need to be connected to change or add content, Hooray!! I have to find a positive somewhere so just ignore me, Please!!
July 26th
I need a computer now!! I have had one crappy day and I know I'm not going to sleep anytime soon. All I have to do is thank about my crappy day and that is not a good thing. Some things are better left unthought-of. Guess it's time to try books and video games. How long must I suffer? (Insert violin music here)

July 30th
Shipping date on laptop postponed but if I cancel and reorder it may take even longer plus I can no longer get exactly the same thing. So I wait!!! For now I'm writing, I forgot how much I liked it, and reading a little and for those late nights when I can't sleep I am wearing out the video games!!
August 3rd
I can't even check the daggone movie times. What Is my world coming to?
August 8th
It's officially ridiculous. I can't get the laptop I want right now because they are severely back ordered, so they had to cancel my order and I ordered a desktop. I have actually gotten use to not having one, not that I want to stay without one. The only time it really sucks is on my sleepless nights. I figure as long as I'm up and going by the time the kids go back to school I will be good. I'm reading even more and that's great – I need to work my brain, I'm sure.
August 10th
It should be here anytime and I'm so excited. I wish I had given up on the laptop the first time they changed the ship date. The desktop shipped the next day, again that's what I get for trying to get what I want. I did go ahead and go wireless though. I can use it for so much more than just the laptop (cable phone, Play station, Nintendo DS's) and it will be ready when I finally get the laptop. After all I have been so deprived that I have to ease the pain somehow. So Internet overload it is!!!!!
August 13th
Still didn't come today. I know they said tomorrow but I was so hoping it would be earlier. It did hit me today how much work getting everything set up and fixed is going to be. The computer, the wireless system, reading my old hard drive, getting all of the pictures, music and data onto the new one, it is going to be a long process. I'm so excited to get to do it all though, I'm such a geek I know. Reading the old hard drive with the new device I bought is really going to be cool. Technology so rocks!!!!
Well it's all here and partially set up so far. I thought I would be setting here non-stop today but I found it hard to get anything done because I had other things I wanted to do. Now it's late and I have nothing else to do so I am finally getting caught up on some things. I'm glad to have all of the information at my fingertips again.

Switching Gears

I'm not sure what it is about Joseph's birthdays but for some reason his age hits me harder than any of the others. Although I'm sure Audrey's next one will be big (come February I will be the mother of a teenager). Jo hit double digits, the big 1-0, and I feel so old. My kids are growing up and that is as scary as it is awesome.
It's amazing how time gets away from you. I spent so many years pregnant and having kids and then the last 5 years just trying to enjoy them and guide them. Now we are hitting a whole new stage and that genuinely scares me. Learning to be a mom to babies at the age of 18 was tough but I just really grew up with them. Now I have to learn to be a mom to teenagers and I do believe that is going to be much harder. I've learned that a parent's main concern cannot be whether or not their kids like them. That gets you into big trouble. As they get older though that gets harder because they go from just thinking your mean for a few minutes to downright hating you for days. I just have to keep reminding myself that it will pay off in the future and that as long as I am there for them and do my best that they will remember that!! So ready or not future-here we come.

Being a thief is hard work

Once again we are without a phone. I'm sorry but this is ridiculous, there has to be something they can do. Bury the lines or something!! I think Verizon is about to lose a lot of customers to Suddenlink phone service. In the meantime, I have something to say about this mess.
What is wrong with people? They put all of their time and energy into trying to find a way out of working. Is that not work itself? Would it not be easier to just get a job like the rest of the world? It just doesn't make since to me to work so hard at not working. Not to mention that they are risking jail at the same time. This is just absolutely insane to me. How do they convince themselves that this is normal or even remotely smart? Do me a favor guys just go to work and give the rest of us a break. Preferably before you end up costing someone more than just a little inconvenience because they don't have a phone.

If She's going to Heaven so am I

Thank You so much Kelly!! This is the first time since Sunday that I have had time to actually set down and take the time to think, let along write; but Sunday was another wonderful sermon for me. He preached on how God commanded us to love one another as He had loved us. WOW!! Have you ever really thought about that? That would require a lot of love. But as Kelly pointed out although most of us are not at the point that we would literally lay down our lives for just anyone we should be able to love them more than ourselves and to put aside all SELF for them. Put aside our needs, wants and desires in order for the other people around us to feel loved. The thing is if you truly do that-most likely you will get the same type of love in return. Yeah things aren't always perfect and it doesn't always work out that way but that shouldn't change how we behave. He also talked about the church family being this way; that they should love each other enough to put aside all the petty things and really be there for each other. The first part was of course for my correction – I often don't love people like I should. This part though was to console me. When we switched churches it was very hard on me. At times I was still feeling like we had somehow put ourselves first and not done what was right but this made me realize that we had. As long as we were there the petty things that people held against us weren't going to be forgotten. There was no hope for any type of growth or even help if we needed it. Read my blog from October, 1 2006. I knew it then I guess I just needed someone to remind me and uplift me and again God gave me exactly what I needed.
I am not and will never claim to be a perfect person (I am quite far from it actually) but I do try. Try to improve, try to forgive and always try to be what I need to be to set an example for my kids. No I'm not a cookie cutter Christian and I'm sure there are many people that look at me and say "If she's going to Heaven so am I" but I promise I'm trying to make that harder for you to do.
P.S. Kelly if you're checking out "myspace" Thank You again and I hope you approve!! And I do keep a close eye on my kids "spaces" and what they are doing too.

Heaven Help Me

I know I've heard it before; we shouldn't try to turn country songs into songs for God. This song is absolutely tremendous though. Just listen to it - it's in my play list. I don't believe it can be said any better. How many of us haven't been confronted with temptation and that temptation usually comes from a need for comfort of some type. It never resolves our problem though only leaves us with more questions and prayers to be prayed. We have all hurt the ones who love us the most and absolutely refused to admit that we did anything wrong but in the end that shame always wins out in one way or another. All we can ever do is ask for help from God. Have you ever read the entire Serenity prayer? It follows the same line of thought. All that we can do is all that we can, the rest is up to God. And as the song says – Faith above all else!!!!

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

"Heaven Help Me"
I'm no stranger to temptation
I have found some comfort there
But it only leaves me with questions
Never answers, only prayers
I've been as high as angels fly and I've fallen straight to hell
Heaven help me
Heaven help me
'Cause I can't help myself
I have wounded those who love me
And refused to take the blame
I have hidden all my demons
But I cannot hide my shame
I've forgotten who I am
But I know you know me well
Heaven help me
Heaven help me
'Cause I can't help myself
Give me wisdom, give me strength
Give me faith above all else
Heaven help me
Heaven help me
'Cause I can't help myself
Heaven help me
Heaven help me
'Cause I can't help myself

Self

I love it when I hear preaching that is honest and straight from the heart. Tonight that is what I got and it really hit home. I have really been in a slump lately but that has been because I have been all about SELF. Not to go back to my pity party but I must explain the slump. I am truly alone, I have no one to lean on or depend on. No help or support, no relief ever from my kids or my life with them. BUT I have God and that is all that matters. I have to quit worrying about my wants and desires and focus on what God wants for my life.
There is absolutely nothing that I can do to ensure that anyone in this world will like me or be pleased with me but God on the other hand has made that simple. He loves me NO MATTER what and all I must do to keep him pleased with me is try my best to stay in His will for my life. Serve people and they will tolerate you and maybe even be pleased for the time being but it will not make them truly love you. There is nothing I can do besides be myself and treat people in the way that God would have me to. If that leaves me alone in this world then God has a reason for that.
I have never been a very likeable person, not someone that most people can get close to and I know that it is something about me although I'm not sure what. Maybe if I give in to God he can change that too. So time to get rid of self and figure out what God wants from my life. Time for a BRAND NEW ME!!!!

Maybe I'm just crazy that way

I know I'm really going to hear about this one but some things just need to be said. When the elementary school did their yearbooks this year they had a little section where you could pay and put a message to your kid in the back(which by the way was a really cool idea). So Audrey is setting and looking at the boy's yearbook and she says "Mom did you see this It's ridiculous." She is a bit dramatic so I thought here we go again but this time it was my turn to be dramatic!! Hate me all that you want but you DO NOT drag my kids into the middle of it and go out of your way to try to make them feel bad!!!!!!!!!!! There are notes in there from Mike's parents to part of their grandkids. First of all we all know who paid for them, I know that they didn't and I'm not blaming them even if they did. I know where the hatred comes from. There is a note to the 2 that belong to her and also one to Shawn's girl (although there isn't one from him and his wife so we know they didn't do it either – again not blaming them.). Again I'll say hate me all you want but do not hurt my kids because of it. I have done my best to stay out of your way, even given up the church that I grew up in and still you can't be satisfied. How could you do that to my children? Do you think that they understand that it is hatred from you and not that their grandparents don't love them as much as they love your kids? Of course they don't!!!!! I'm quoting here –"To Isaiah Smerecansky, You are our best buddy! We love you so much! Pawpaw and Mawmaw" How is that suppose to make my boys feel? Hopefully they will never notice it, I'm sure not going to point it out to them but if they do they will be devastated. I know it's going to be the same old "I wasn't thinking" excuse if it's ever discussed and I know you will hear about this from someone and maybe read it from someone else's account. I truly hope that you feel like a dog for it, I honestly don't know how you live with yourself.
I know your going to spew the whole Christians have to love line again and to that I say….. Yes we do but we don't have to love your ways!!! We are to mark those who cause divisions and stay away from them (read your bible)! I do believe I would call this causing a division and we all know that it's not the first one. We love you, you are family and you are one of God's creations but you are not someone that we can allow to continue to poison our lives. Although you seem to continue to be able to do that even from a distance.
Now I am truly sorry if I offended anyone with this, there is a history that goes with it that some know and some don't and I am truly hurt and disappointed that grownups can't leave kids out of their disputes. I for one would never drag kids into a dispute that I had with anyone, it seems to me the sensible thing to do. But maybe I'm just crazy that way.

Give a Mom a break? Please!

First let me start with a disclaimer. I would do anything to make my kids happy and to help them do well in life. That said:
When does Mom get a break? Our lives are so busy anymore that it seems there is no time left to just have fun. When we were young that was what the summer was for but now that is even pretty much gone. Baseball won't be over until tomorrow, Audrey started Summer Volleyball practices yesterday and Matthew brought home a huge pack of summer work (so that he doesn't forget what he learned in preschool before he gets to Kindergarten). Don't get me wrong all of these things are great and they do help the kids out but where did Summer Vacation go? Do we put too much pressure on our kids? Do they ever get a chance to just be kids? Then we wonder why kids grow up so fast now. I know, I know. I'm going to get a lot of complaints about this one but its true. We want them to be able to do all the things their friends do and we want them to be good at everything and we want them to have a great future but at what cost. Our retirement age is so high already now and you know it will be higher by the time they get there (if they have one at all) so why not let them just have a childhood and worry about all of these things in the future.
I can't change the world and I know if I want my kids to do well at the things that they love that they need any edge they can get but it just seems to me that we learned so much about life from just hanging out during the summers. Is there a lesson that they are missing? Will they know how to just have fun with their families when they have them? Do they know that Mom loves them just because she does, even if they aren't doing something "spectacular"? Do they realize that Mom can just chill and be fun at times too? We have to spend so much time making sure that they do what they need to do and that they get to where they need to go that I think just maybe they are missing out on a few valuable lessons!!
Update: Audrey went for her check up for her knee and they think that it is going to heal itself. It is doing really good and she is starting to build it back up slowly now after NO use for 6 wks. Don't have to go back for a year unless it gets bad again. Praise the Lord!!!

Just day to day things.

I haven't been on much lately but it has been very hectic around here. Of course when isn't it but it has been worse the last few weeks. First I had bronchitis a few weeks ago and am still coughing and very tired. Mike's dad has been very sick and gave us all a real scare. So I have been a little lazy about keeping up with things. So I will do a little update. First, Audrey's Knee; She is currently "resting" it which is driving her and me insane because she loves to be outside and doing things. Keeping her off her bike has been the real struggle. We are halfway through the 6 wk. rest and her knee is really looking a lot better. I can tell a huge difference. Hopefully it is helping on the inside too. The lesion was smaller than an eraser so it looks hopeful. Second, Kittens; I am down to 3 and I guess we are keeping one. So I still have 2 to get rid of. They are just the cutest things and I hope everyone that gets them enjoys them. Third, Dog and Other Animals(haha); I am hoping to get my puppy any day now. Now let's just pray that I can get it trained. I am considering trying the new doggy litter that they have. Plus we now have 3 more turtles (Thanks Carolyn) and the boys absolutely love them. Now we just need a bigger tank for them. Hard to believe a few months ago we were down to only 1 pet(the 1 turtle we already had) and now even once I get rid of the 2 kittens we aren't keeping we will have 7!!! I love animals, no matter how much I try to deny it on the days they drive me insane. So I think thats about it. Nothing out of the ordinary for us I don't guess. I am having a little problem with something that happened when Mike's dad got sick but I am trying to take my time and handle it in the best way possible. I wish the Dickens men would stick up for themselves but I think they may need a woman to do it for them(or 3 or 4 women - haha).

MRI's, Kittens and Bears! Oh My!!

Have a few different things to mention so where to start….. Audrey made it through her MRI with flying colors. They did have to redo the last set because her knee started twitching but that was no big deal. She did really well, way better than I thought she would considering how nervous she was. Now we just have to wait to hear the results from the surgeon next week. I've quit worrying about it and left it all up to God. What will be, will be.
On to other things….Apparently we had a bear last night, the first sighting of the season. He tried his best to get inside the Blazer, not sure why though because it has been setting there for months in need of being fixed (now that's a whole other story). The picture is not great; if you actually see it you can see where he pushed his nose up against the glass.

A short update on the kittens too. They are getting so big and are all over the place. Most of them are using the litter box already and a few are starting to try to eat. It's going to be hard to get rid of any of them let along all of them. Mike says though (and anyone who knows us well will know what a big deal this is) that HE is getting ME a dog. I am by heart a dog person, I love them and would love to have one now that all the kids will be in school but……. I CANNOT house train a dog. I have tried so many times and it never works for me. My guess would be that it is my laziness but I'm hoping that if he gets the dog for me that I will try a little harder. We'll see I guess, if he even gets it lol.

OCD:Who knew?

Actually, he called it an OCD lesion. It stands for something fancy that I can't remember. I just found the diagnosis a bit amusing because I am always telling her she is a little crazy. LOL
For those of you who know me well this part will be redundant but oh well. Sorry about that.
Audrey had a severe infection in her leg about a year and a half ago. It was called cellulitis (which is a fancy word for an infection just underneath the skin surface) and turned out to be a staff infection. She was in the hospital for 3 days, couldn't walk for a few weeks and was on crutches for a little over a month. You would have had to see the leg to understand how bad it was; it ended up being about 3 times its normal size. They finally had to make an incision and drain the leg to get it to heal and she ended up having to have the roots of her big toenail cut out on that foot to clear up the infection there. She has had trouble with the knee on that leg ever since but the swelling and pain would come and go. Getting her to the doctor while it was actually swollen and hurting was very difficult. It took about a year but I finally managed to get him to see that there was a problem. He did x-rays and they came back with a report of being fine. So he had her wear a brace for a while and it has helped but as soon as she doesn't wear it we are back to square one.
Now to the present, He decided there was nothing else he could do so he referred her to a specialist. We go in, he glances at the x-rays, asks a few questions, checks her knee out a little and says he really doesn't see anything. I think Oh Great!!! So I just start talking and telling him every little thing I can think of about how it affects her, what hurts her and what doesn't and apparently he had a "light bulb" moment. He started checking her knee in a different way and looking for certain things and then went to actually look at the x-rays. Sure enough there it is big as day, how the person that read them didn't see it the doctor can't seem to fathom. She has a "pothole" of cartilage gone on the back side of her knee cap. Now whether it is from the infection or she injured it and didn't know it or it is going to be some type of disorder she has we do not know and may never know.
She goes for an MRI Friday to see just how bad it really is and we will go from there with her treatment but there is a possibility that she will have to have surgery. It has taken me a week to be able to set down and write about it because it upsets me to think about it. She is still young enough that it may be able to heal itself but we will have to see. She is really anxious about the MRI and will be truly crushed if she can not play volleyball when the season starts next year. I am trusting in God that everything will be okay though and even if she has to have surgery and can't do the things that she loves I know that God has a reason for it. Everyone just keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

We have.....kittens.

So, I took in another cat, oh about 6 months ago. This really wasn't that big of a deal because all of our other cats had started disappearing. I tried to keep her in the house all the time, in case coyotes were about, but she got outside once – JUST ONCE!!! Now I have 7 cats!!!!!! The kittens are beautiful but if you know anyone that wants one let me know, yes I'm serious. They are truly adorable but why does my cat have to be the rare one that has more than 4 kittens at once.

True Love

To be able to see true love is a rare thing. It is usually something that is only felt and that is very hard to let somebody see. When that love can be felt by so many people and can actually be tangibly seen, it is truly amazing. That happened today at Cornerstone FWB Church. An amazing man died a few days ago and the love that this church had for him and has for each other was not only felt but also seen by everyone that entered that church today. I knew already that this church was an amazing place to be, even though we haven't been there for long, but the power and the love that they showed today was truly amazing. Only God can create this kind of love but the people also have to be in his will and willing before he can bestow it.
I would not be comfortable trying to explain how great a person he was because I would not want to diminish what he meant to all of those that he was so close to. I cannot know how much he meant to them but I can imagine and I feel that they are the ones that have the right to talk about what a great man he was. I can however say that from the minute you met Jesse you knew that God was the most important thing in his life. I know that the class that he was part of and which held by-far the closest place in his heart is in my prayers, as they are in the prayers of everyone at the church. This church is an amazing FAMILY to be a part of.

Guys and their toys!

I have the proof!!! Guys do not have to be taught to be territorial over their "toys". So what do they do when you threaten their "toys"? Apparently my youngest sleeps on top of it to protect it.

The story: He had pushed this truck, that he bought with his birthday money, all over the house, he had woke up his daddy a few times(and this is not easy to do) and he had pretty much driven me crazy with it. So I threatened to put it outside for him to play with when it gets warmer. So now he is in full on protect mode. He is not letting the thing out of his sight and even tried to sleep on it that first night. Now of course I could take it from him or even sneak it away while he is sleeping but I am having so much fun watching him "protect" his toy. I can just hear his future wife saying "God what did your mom do to you – she ruined you!" So as much as they try to blame their mothers for everything, sorry but I have proof this is one thing you can't blame your mom for guys – apparently it's in your genes. Don't worry we love ya anyway!!!!!!!!!

One of the possible rants I mentioned.

I am apparently experiencing a huge pet peeve moment today. It has bothered me for a while but it is eating at me today. How do people become so rude and crude? What has happen to our feelings of loyalty and our commitment to family and friends? Admittedly I am not anywhere close to perfect, I am horrible with people but it is because I am so bashful not because I have no morals. Yes, I have made my mistakes and had my moments where my judgment lapsed but not on a daily basis. How do you turn your back on people that you have claimed to love and treat them with complete disrespect? How do you look at someone that you know is hurting or in need and not care? Is there no decency left in your heart? I understand if a person has hurt you or put you in a place you didn't need to be repeatedly that you may need to cut them out of your life but you can do that without running your mouth or just flat out being disrespectful (trust me I've had to do it). If they were truly in need though I would still be there for them. Why do we have to be so critical of each other? There are things that I understand it may be hard to live with but we are so quick anymore to say that we can't live with someone over the pettiest things. So quick to say I hate that person because they do this or that. When really those are not that big of a deal and we know it. Why can't we just give each other a little leniency and a little respect? Is it really that difficult to just turn the other cheek and let it go? It isn't that hard, it is possible; we are just all so selfish and self-involved that we don't feel the need to. As a last note there is one more thing worth saying, you can kill love but it is not as easy as some people like to pretend. You can not just turn it off, it's still in there and everyone knows it and every mean thing you do just proves it!!!!